Always and Forever
by MeganBellaRoseBlack
Summary: Alex's friends say she's not quite been the same since she woke up and she feels there's something missing from her life, she just can't hold onto the memory of what. Or who.
1. Oh, Vienna

**A/N. **This is my first Ashes to Ashes fic and so I hope I've got the characters down okay! This first chapter is just setting the scene really but I do hope to carry it on if anyone's interested in actually reading it!

Your thoughts are, as always, appreciated and loved so if you have time, please pop a quick review.

I don't own Ashes to Ashes or anything in the following story except my own imaginary constructs.

MBRB'xoxo

* * *

Alex Drake sipped her drink slowly as she looked around her. Tiredness was washing over her as she swallowed her wine, trying to concentrate on what Nikki was saying - something about work and the evergrowing pile of tedious paperwork that they needed to get through. She really didn't want to be talking about work on a Friday night in a pub. In fact, Alex really didn't want to be there at all. There was nothing she wanted more than to go back to her house and just tumble into bed with a book. Catching herself, she wondered when she had got so old in her mind. Since when did she not want to be out and about on a weekend with her friends, laughing and drinking? Swallowing the last of her wine, she placed her glass back on the bar and leant her head on one of her hands knowing that her expression was one of pure disinterest and that she was probably coming across as extremely rude, but she didn't really care. Noticing her friends drooping eyelids, Nikki stopped her sentence and took a closer look. Her skin didn't have the fresh and dewy look that it had always had anymore. It was duller, less cared for. As was her hair, tied back in a rough ponytail with slight signs of split ends and tangles.

'Are you okay, Alex?' she asked, leaning a little closer so that she could speak quietly to her friend who she was so concerned about. At the mention of her name, Alex looked up into Nikkis eyes, but her mind was a thousand miles away. Shaking her head of her thoughts slightly, she frowned and began to stand up.

'I think I'm going to call it a night. I'm really not feeling too good. Sorry Nik.' With her voice a little distant and not noticing the concerned look on her friends face, Alex picked up her small bag and made her way through the bodies and out into the street. Nikki sighed and took another sip of wine as Lewis wandered over, a slight frown on his face.

'Is Alex okay?' he asked. Nikki nodded and gave him a small smile.

'Yeah I think so. She's just not been the same since she woke up.'

* * *

Out in the street, Alex stopped to take a few deep breaths of fresh air. She found the Kingfisher – the pub her colleagues frequented – stifling and airless. She didn't even know why she came with them most of the time. The dark wood of the bar and the stone walls made the place seem dingy and so closed in and the large amount of regulars meant that the place was usually crowded with bodies standing close together, taking any table that they could. There where times when you just couldn't move or think, let alone have a relaxing drink on a Friday night. She often wished that they would use 'Benvenuto A Casa' as their regular drinking spot – a nice little Italian bar a little further away from the station than the Kingfisher – but the small increase in distance was deemed too inconvenient and the place had been labeled 'poncey' due to its name. A couple people who had been there before had also said it was dated and a bit stuck in the past, so the Kingfisher remained their regular haunt.

Sighing, Alex moved past the assortment of small shops and houses as she made her way home. The walk was only about 20 minutes or so and she welcomed the slight chill in the air as she slowly walked. Music played in the distance from one of the houses and cut through the still night. Deciding that focusing on the music would be better than escaping into her own head, Alex focused on the distinctive beat of the old tune.

_We walked in the cold air_

_Freezing breath on the window pane_

_Lying and waiting_

_A man in the dark in a picture frame_

_So mystic and soulful_

_A voice reaching out in a piercing cry_

_It stays with you until…_

_The feeling has gone, only you and I_

_It means nothing to me _

_This means nothing to me _

'Oh Viennaaa' she mumbled under her breath as she walked in front of the house that was playing the classic tune. A memory stirred within her of complete confusion but she smiled none-the-less, not knowing why. She tried to grasp the memory but it slipped away from her and she instead continued walking until the powerful beat couldn't be heard anymore and she was once again had nothing to distract her from herself. The song was still stuck in her head and she hummed it softly to break the awful silence which was around her and tried to remember what it was that she was connecting to the song. It was one of those awful half-memories that you know is there but is just on the corner of your mind and for all you know, it could have been anything. Something that happened recently, something that happened years ago, something that happened in a dream, Anything. All she could remember was the song playing and her being completely confused. There had been a lot of people being around her? No wait, she had been completely alone? Either way, she couldn't place a time when she would have ever been in that situation. Putting it under 'another one of those annoying things' in her head, Alex pulled out her door key as she approached the house she shared with Molly and sighed. Not for the first time, she wished there was someone else in her life that she could just talk to. Not even necessarily a man, just someone who she was really close to, who she could invite back to hers for a cup of tea or a glass of wine. Someone who she could rely on to have her back and who she could look out for as well. She loved Molly, of course she did, but she was growing up and getting on with her life now. She had all her girlfriends who she spent most of her time with now, always 'just going out with Sammie' or 'just going to Pippas' house'. But the point was she was always 'just going' and all Alex really wanted was someone who would just stay.


	2. Only you

**A/N **I've been bitten by the bug here! Really wanted to keep on writing so here's ther second chapter of the day. Enjoy ! Thank you for your kind reviews and if you have a moment, I'd love to hear what you think of this story so far.

MBRB'xoxo

**I do not own Ashes to Ashes. **

Kicking off her shoes, Alex padded into the kitchen as she rubbed her eyes and temples. It had been a long day in which there had been a series of robberies reported. The usual stuff really; elderly peoples' homes being targeted, valuables and money being taken. She was sure that it was a couple of teenagers with nothing better to do and in need of a little bit of extra cash. Theoretically, it should be an open and close case because teenagers really were skilled at leaving evidence, especially when there were multiple victims. But no. Stacks and stacks of paper had to be filled in. Form upon form upon form. It really was ridiculous and sitting in her office all day _talking_ instead of _doing_ had worn Alex out more than she even thought possible. Whatever happened to the days when the police would have been sent out and pulled the little shits in straight away? Case closed. With another heavy sigh, Alex lifted her head and pulled a half empty bottle of house wine she had brought from a pub the night before on her way home. Glancing around in search of a glass, she realised she really couldn't be bothered to be civilised and instead, raised the bottle to her lips. There was noone there to judge her anyway. Molly was, once again, at someones house - whose was it this time? Jasmin? Yasmin? Alex lost track of them all – so she could relax and just lounge around. But first, some music to cover up that horrific silence she was becoming all too familiar with. Picking up a small remote, she pointed it at the sound system in which her Ipod sat and pressed play. Immediately, the dulcet tones of Alison Moyet began to play and 'Only You' filled her kitchen.

_All I needed was the love you gave_

_All I needed was another day _

_And all I ever knew_

_Only you _

She smiled again as the electric tone music washed over her and she took another swig from her wine bottle and swayed slightly in time to the song, humming along to the words. Molly hated all her 'old person' music that she listened to but Alex loved the classic late 70's and early 80's tunes and played them on a regular basis. They all seemed to be connected to a happy memory of her mother and father, or a bittersweet memory of Evan. Sweet Evan, trying to raise a young girl on his own. Alex smiled softly and let out a little laugh as she thought back to her childhood. She knew that she hadn't been the easiest of children at times and she could be positively dreadful on occasions, but he had always done his best and tried to raise her like his own. As Only You faded and Ashes to Ashes by David Bowie began to play, Alex rolled her eyes at the irony. The song that she would always associate with her childhood. Fabulous. For years she had been completely unable to even listen the opening bars of the classic song. It had been just too painful. But as she had got older, she had come to love it. She had tried to remember all the times her Mum and Dad had played the cassette before that dreadful day. How her Mum would grab her hands and dance with her as they sang the song at each other.

_I'm happy. Hope you're happy to. _

Eventually, Alex had been able to remember the day without breaking down in tears and she would listen to it on repeat, replaying the song and the memories in her head.

A red balloon. A bang. Heat. A hand. And then…well, then not much. She could remember the hand that grasped hers anchoring her to the floor as her balloon –and her whole world as she knew it – drifted into the sky. After that she remembered the surreal feeling of being a bit like a chess piece; being picked up and put in which ever place she needed to be, doing what she was told to do, floating through the next couple hours of her life like it wasn't real or like she was in somebody else's world. Nothing had really made sense. She remembered seeing a whole group of people who she didn't know but trusting them with her life. And all the time, that hand had been there. Evan's hand. But she had been sure that Evan had been in front of her? Her jumbled memories placed him in front of her and not beside her in her chessboard world. So how was he holding her hand? It was something that had struck Alex many years ago and she had always been frustrated at her memory for jumbling and confusing things. But in the end, she always put it down to shock. Seeing your parents blown to pieces is, after all, a little traumatic. But she'd got through it. Somehow.

Back in her current time, Alex switched off the music, picked up the bottle of cheap pub wine and made her way up the stairs and into her bathroom. Putting in plug and beginning to run a steaming bath, she placed the wine down and walked into her bedroom next door to take off her light makeup and strip out of her work clothes. Her pure white blouse landed on the deep red silk sheets of her bed, making a stark contrast causing Alex to pause and consider hanging the blouse up so it wasn't creased. But she eventually dismissed the idea of moving the blouse deciding she didn't really care if it was a little rumpled, it was always hidden under a smart fitted blazer or coat anyway. The trousers of her trouser suit were soon roughly folded and put on the bed next to her discarded blouse and a dressing gown wrapped around her. With her hair still in a ponytail, she picked a makeup wipe up and walked into the bathroom, scrubbing at her face. She hated this part of the day, when she had to inspect her face in the mirror. When she had to notice the scar on her forehead and remove all the concealer and foundation that she tried to cover it with. She didn't really know why she even tried to hide it, everyone in the local policing area knew about Alex Drake; shooting victim. Victim. She hated the word. When she'd had to stand in court with Layton and everyone had been oh so sympathetic. When she'd been given so many therapists to talk to, so many people to 'support' her, the word was always there. 'This is Alex Drake, she was the victim of a very unfortunate shooting', always said in such a quite tone as if that would make it better. As if they didn't say it loudly, maybe she'd forget she'd turned from Alex Drake; one of the METs finest coppers to Alex Drake; victim.

And then of course there where the lines that were slowly being added to her face. The lines around her eyes and the deepening frown lines on her forehead. It was only to be expected really, she was of course growing older, but she couldn't help partially blaming her increasingly lined face on the stress of tying to recover. Stress of fighting with everyone. With herself.

She remembered sitting in that inviting leather chair with her first shrink.

'Now Alex, this session is me getting to know you really. I'd like to know if there is anything on your mind or anything that you need to talk about. It can be quite traumatic to … fall asleep… and wake up seven months later.' Yeah, traumatic. That was the word. But it wasn't what had happened to the world that was traumatic, it wasn't that things had gone on without her and the world had kept on turning. No, it had been what had happened to her while she lay in that bed in that hospital room. It had been the mural on a wall, the western posters, the black and white sofa and the hair. She remembered talking and talking to this small man who sat before her taking notes in the most condescending of ways and nodding at her as if indulging a small child in her fantasies. As Alex eased herself into the steaming water, she tried to remember what it was she had been saying to him, what she had told him but once again, the memory was all but gone. She had since read the notes he had made, demanding that she be able to see them when he had told her he would need to hand her to a more 'advanced' and 'experienced' psychologist. She remembered reading his words a couple of weeks after their first session and it being like she had been reading about a different person.

…_Seemingly complete memories of leading another life. Thorough and detailed descriptions of 'him' and 'the A team' as well as accommodation and numerous places she apparently frequented… _

…_.Rapidly 'forgetting' her constructs, details of specific cases and people are becoming blurry…_

…_Becoming frustrated and occasionally bordering on hysterical when unable to 'remember' faces, names or characteristics and mannerisms…._

She had seemed crazy but she distinctly remembered believing what she was saying. She knew she was telling the truth and that what she was saying _had_ happened and she would not accept that it hadn't. But they had slipped away from her; the faces, the people, the memories. And now if she tried to conjure anything, she couldn't. Most of the time, she even tended to forget that she had even spoken about this other 'world', or indeed that she had ever believed in her stories. Now, on the very _very_ rare occasion, she would begin to tell a story and then as she tried to remember it, her memory would become fuzzy and it would slip through her fingers, leaving her to say 'never mind' and dismiss it with a slight frown.

By the time she had been passed to the third psychologist, she would speak about her troubles at home or at work. She would speak about how she was coping with her life and the struggles she was having with Molly growing up. At first it had been a conscious decision to not talk about the 'others' when they did occasionally pop into her head, but then she found they had slipped away and she couldn't talk about them even if she wanted to – their memories weren't there for her to talk about anymore.

As she lay her head against the back of the bathtub, she took let out a sigh and tried to just stop thinking. Enough of psychologists and the past, this was a time for lying in the comforting water and relaxing. Taking another sip of the red wine from the bottle, she grimaced. Note to self Alex; Stop buying this house rubbish.


	3. Under Pressure

**A/N **is at the end where it will make more sense.

I don't own Ashes to Ashes. It is not mine. I shall never be able to cuddle it in the night.

x-x-x-x-x

Alex stirred her coffee with one hand absent mindedly as she read the file on the break-ins which had exhausted her so much the previous day. It was 8.15 and she wasn't due to be in until 9, but she had woken early from another nightmare of her being shot again, and hadn't been able to get back to sleep so had decided to come into work and make a start on some of the bloody forms that wouldn't fill themselves out. Jesus, this was such a simple case yet they wouldn't let her go and pull in suspects because 'there was no evidence'. How was she supposed to _get _evidence if she was never allowed out her bloody office? She'd wanted to join the police because she remembered seeing them catching the criminals. Keeping the streets clean. _Doing _something. Now what did they do? Paperwork.

Her mind drifted back to all the cop shows she used to watch when she was younger with her Mum. Evan loved them too and she had marveled as cars flew around corners and smashed through cardboard boxes. Why always cardboard boxes? There was only one time she could remember even seeing stacks of cardboard boxes across a road and even then she hadn't driven through them. She remembered being flung forward in a car and having to throw her hands out to stop her head cracking on the dash because she hadn't had her seatbelt on. A smile formed on her lips at the memory of…of what? Where had she been? Her smile was replaced by a small frown as she tried to remember. Cardboard boxes… a car…an emergency stop. And…the car being thrown into reverse? Why didn't she have her seatbelt on? She wasn't one to forget. Come to think of it, it really didn't sound right. There was something off about the whole thing. She couldn't remember anyone driving at such high speeds, or reversing so quickly either. She wouldn't let anyone, so who had it been? It must have been some kind of dream she'd had. God, she hated that – momentarily mistaking dreams for reality. Letting out a small laugh at her foolishness, she picked the file back up, her coffee in the other hand, and walked through the corridors to her office.

'Boss.' She turned her head as James jogged to catch up with her.

'James, please. It's Alex' she said softly. Being called 'Boss' really put her out and she didn't know why. Probably because she didn't want to be seen to be above anyone else. The team were a team. Boss just…she didn't even know. But it just never sounded right when it came from the people she worked with.

'Sorry B- Alex. Bit of a weird case here for you. I know you don't normally do this kind of thing, but he seems a bit messed up. Super thought you might be able to get a bit of sense out of him. Calm him down a bit?' Alex looked confused at the young officer.

'So he wants me to just talk to him? Calm him down? Is he showing signs of aggression? I'll need an officer with me if he is' James shook his head.

'No not at all. Seems kind of… subdued. But… I can't really explain it bo- ma'am. You'll just have to have a look. He's in Room 12' Alex smiled at the man by her side and followed the corridor through to the left to where she could get a lift up to the 3rd floor where most of the interview rooms were. As she pressed the up button on the list of floors, she tapped her foot slightly to the song that was stuck in her head. Bloody David Bowie. He'd not shifted since the previous night when she had been listening to Ashes to Ashes and now 'Under Pressure' was firmly stuck there.

Getting in the lift, she illuminated 3, she waited for the doors to close and wondered why they needed her. Not that she was complaining, anything was better than the shitty case she had in her hands of these burglaries. She was a criminal psychologist, not a secretary. And she'd put together a report of the little bastards that described everything expect their flaming penis size, so why hadn't they been caught? So she actually welcomed a change and talking to someone who could actually break up her day a little. She glanced over the file that James had handed her to try and see what to expect.

_Seemingly confused and slightly delusional but tests show no signs of psychological problems. Sporadically knows what's going on around him but is occasionally clueless. Convicted of assaulting an officer. _

Not to quote Alice, but curiouser and curiouser, Alex thought to herself as she approached the desk of floor 3 where she quickly asked Viv if she could go through to the room. Viv looked up from her computer screen and nodded that she could. It was a stupid system really, but it ensured that nothing had changed since she'd been called up and there had been no incidents of violence so she was safe to go in.

Opening the door of room 12, Alex smiled at the man who sat at the table. His head had been rested on his crossed arms on the desk but he raised his head as he heard her walk through the door. His broad shoulders and heavy brow bone gave him quite an intimidating air about him, but his golden hair seemed to soften him a little. His eyes met hers and she wondered why she felt so at ease. It rarely happened that she entered a room and wasn't a little on edge – you never really know what's going to happen with some people – but she just wasn't. He wasn't going to hurt her and she knew it. Maybe it was the way he stared at her, his arms still crossed on the desk and his head half way between being lifted and resting on his arms. She could see that he was a reasonably tall guy, broad and imposing and knew that when he stood he would stand just a little taller than her if she was wearing heel. How?

'Mr Hunt?' she asked. She never knew why she always did that. This was obviously Mr Hunt - there was no one else in the room. The aforementioned Mr Hunt rolled his eyes and raised his head fully, propping one elbow on the table.

'Bloody brilliant. The psychiatry shit that's gonna be talked at me is gonna be done by a posh tart. Just what I wished for.' His voice dripped with sarcasm and distaste as he scowled at Alex and she stared back at him in slight shock at his brazen words. She didn't know why but her insides twisted momentarily and a small laugh escaped her as she corrected him.

'It's psychology'.

x-x-x-x-x-x

**A/N**

Updating again. I just can't stop! And I literally know nothing about the police force or what Alex would be doing when or why. So I've kinda just made it up with a semi-realistic spin? I don't even know! So do excuse any 'what?' moments. Just go with it! : ) I also know she wouldn't be there with him on her own and that there wouldn't be the desk where 'Viv' is, but I wanted to include her as another link for Alex. So there we are. We've established I've made everything up and it's completely non-real'ish. Either way, I hope you liked it and can spare a moment for a quick note. Thanks for reading!

MBRB'xoxo


	4. Careless Whisper

As they sat there together in the interview room, Alex couldn't help admire the complete sense of ease that Hunt had about him. One of his legs was rested on the other at the ankle and he was leant back on the little plastic chair with his arms crossed, completely drowning it. She glanced down at the way she was sat – slightly leant forward, her elbows on the table - and adjusted herself so that her body language didn't scream out 'I am fascinated by you'. When on earth did she become so easy to read?

'And why was it you hit PC…' she glanced down at the paper which lay between them 'Peters?' she asked. Hunt looked to the side, his head tilted back slightly and let out a sigh of impatience.

'Because 'e was a twat' he told her shortly, not even glancing in her direction. 'Anything else, Break? Any more bloody daft questions for me or can I leave this shit'ole?' He finally looked towards the woman across the table from him and raised his eyebrows at her. Alex stared back at him for a moment, countering his stare with an equally steely front. After silence had filled the room in which Hunt was waiting for her to reply and she was trying to get an idea of what the hell this guy _was_, she broke the stillness by taking a sudden deep sigh, turning her head to the side and leaning back in her chair. She arranged her limbs into a relaxed position and tried to hide the fact that she was getting increasingly annoyed with this 'Hunt'. She didn't know why – she rarely got this frustrated – but she could feel her blood pressure rising and was trying hard to keep a lid on it. Meeting his eyes again, she tried to give off an air of confidence.

'It's Drake' she corrected him with one of her signature sarcastic smiles. Hunt stared at her with a small frown line between his brows.

'What'a you on about, woman?'

'My name. It's Drake. You called me Break. My name is Alex Drake'

_I've just been shot and that bullet has_… what? Has what? Her mind clawed at the words but it was no good. They were gone.

'Yeah, fabulous. I'll be sure to look you up in the yellow pages when I 'ave a minute' Alex felt her blood boil that little bit more.

'Look Mister Hunt, we're not get-'

'It's Gene' he interrupted. Alex looked at him questioningly so he continued. 'Don't call me 'Mister 'Unt' like I'm some kinda ponce. It's Gene. Mista just does my 'ead in.' Alex stared at him for second. It was clear from his expression that he _really_ hated being called 'Mister Hunt'. She decided that was something that she could maybe explore – they didn't seem to be getting anywhere fast anyway.

'And why is that, "Gene"?' She waggled her fingers as she said his name and even as raised her hands to do it, she saw his eyes flash and she wondered where the airquotes had even come from.

'There it is' he replied shortly. 'Knew the psycho shit would come along soon.'

'Alright "Gene"' - Again with the waggling finger. What the hell, Alex? Stop it - 'Jesus, I've tried to talk to you and you're having bloody none of it. You apparently have no respect for anyone. I haven't tried to push you into answering my bloody questions and you've been like an insolent child the entire time I've been here. I give up. Well done. I'll send someone else in to talk to you.' Alex had had enough of him. Once again, she asked herself why this man seemed to wind her up so much, but she just couldn't find an answer. He was managing to get under her skin more than anyone she had known for a very long time. Standing up and turning to leave the room, she was painfully aware of the piercing stare which was fixed on her. Her hand automatically went up to her hair to try and push it into place and she realised that she really should start taking a bit better care of herself. Her regular ponytail was firmly in place, her makeup minimal and she found herself suddenly wishing that she'd spent a little bit more time applying it. Her trouser suit wasn't as tailored as she unexpectedly now found she wanted it to be, and she wondered why the hell this man was having such an effect on her. She had found that for the last couple of years, her appearance had really taken a back seat and she just couldn't be bothered to spend time finding clothes that showed off her figure or applying makeup to accentuate her cheekbones or eyes. She lived each day on semi-autopilot and personal appearance wasn't one of her functions.

As she reached the door, she threw one last glare at him, grasped the handle and ripped it open, but her name being called surprised her and she unintentionally stopped.

'Drake. Wait.' She looked back to see his eyes still firmly fixed on her and she wasn't sure why, but she let go of the door handle and turned to face him. She rubbed her hands over her face, moving her fringe out of her eyes in the process and then crossed her arms and shifted her weight to one leg. Neither of them spoke or a while as they looked one another over. Why hadn't he let her leave? From his demeanor he didn't want her to be anywhere near him, so surely he'd have been glad to see the back of her?

'Sit back down?' he asked. Alex frowned. His question had been more of a command with only the slightest hint that it had been a request. His face was still perfectly emotionless, just the steely sort of frown that he had worn the entire time she had been in the room. She was starting to think that it wasn't a frown at all, just his natural look. After not moving for a couple of seconds, Alex let curiosity get the better of her and crossed the room back to where her chair was. There was something about this man that she couldn't put her finger on, but he seemed to take all the emotions that she usually felt and intensify them. Sitting down, she leant back on the chair again and waited for him to speak. From past experience, she knew that it was sometimes best just to sit in silence and see what happened. After the first minute she noticed the stubborn way his jaw was set. After the second, she let out a sigh. After the third she realised that maybe this wasn't the best idea. The silence really was becoming quite uncomfortable and she hadn't ever been one to sit for any amount of time and just do _nothing_ so maybe if she just spoke then –

'Is this more psychoshit?' he asked, interrupting her thoughts 'Or a game you like to play?'

'Only with my very _favourite_ people' she replied giving him another sarcastic smile. Where the hell did that come from? So much for being professional, Alex. Gene let out a short bark of a laugh, followed by a deep breath as he leant forward on the desk between them, moving his face closer to hers.

'Ask me your bloody questions so I can leave then' he ordered, shifting his elbow slightly. Alex looked at him for a second. He was going to cooperate with her then? Finally. Maybe she could get some answers out of him at last.

'Why did you tell me to stay?' What? Alex, why ask that? Do your job and leave. Jesus Christ. Her face didn't betray her screaming thoughts, rather remained with a slight frown and hint of curiosity. Gene seemed to contemplate the question and she thought that he wasn't going to answer it at all until –

'Because you were gonna walk out' he said simply. The frown on Alexs' face deepened and she cocked her head at him questioningly. His eyes rolled as he saw that she wanted him to elaborate on his answer. 'Ya were gonna walk out! Ya didn't wanna take my shit and were gonna leave. Ya didn't seem like some posh bird who lay down and took it. Well, ya didn't then. I'm 'aving my doubts again now.' The disinterested look settled over his face again and Alex couldn't help but roll her eyes and look at him with her jaw slightly dropped. She too leant forward on the desk so their faces were level and probably slightly closer than was acceptable when one was in a police station for assault of a police officer.

'You really have no idea how insulting you are do you?' she asked slowly, her head tilting slightly to one side as she spoke. Her eyes were narrowed a little in a questioning way and her lips were parted.

'Oh I do…I just don't give a rats arse' Gene replied, a big false smile filling his face. They stared each other down for a couple seconds before Alex pulled back, shook her head, scratched her forehead with exasperation, leant one elbow on the table and then propped her head up on it.

'We're really not getting anywhere here. So just tell me why you hit PC Peters and I'll leave' she picked the pencil which lay by the forms up in her right hand and looked at it, poised to start writing, with boredom on her face as she waited for an answer. He surprised her by actually providing one.

'Because he was beating up a prozzie' he told her shortly. Alex slowly lifted her head.

'What?'

'He was kickin' a prozzie about and didn't like it when I told 'im to leave 'er alone.'

'Are you sure?' Alex asked, eyes wide. He couldn't be telling the truth, surely? Peters was a police officer. Surely he wouldn't… would he?

'Bastards think they're above the bloody law. He'd be off my team quicker than a whore off a soft dick' His expression turned into a confused frown almost as soon as the words had left his mouth, as did Alexs' as soon as she got past his vulgar choice of words and realised what he'd actually said.

'You're team? What team?' she asked. Gene didn't answer, just seemed to stare into the distance, the frown line between his eyes deep and his face the image of confusion. Alex waited for the fog to clear in his mind until he vaguely said;

'I don't know…' he looked at her and met her eyes for a second before looking back down at the table, his fingers tracing the line of his chin as he tried to think of the team that he had mentioned. It was clear that it had just popped out of his mouth before he had time to even think about it and now he was trying to get to the reasoning behind it.

Alex leant forward slightly in silence as she gave him time to think. She knew exactly what he was trying to do. God, she'd done it enough times herself. Not so often anymore – but definitely after she first woke up. The strangest things would come out of her mouth and the people she was with would look at her like she was crazy as she tried desperately to cling to whatever it was that had made her say it, but she could never quite hold it and would eventually have to just move on and forget whatever she had said. So maybe if she gave Gene a bit of silence, he would be more successful in holding onto his half-memories.

Rubbing his forehead in puzzlement, Gene tried as hard as he could to pull the memory back but it was like a brick wall had been built around it, rendering it completely inaccessible. With the same distant and vague tone he had used before, he broke the silence that had fallen over them.

'I really don't know, Bolls…' Gene frowned as he looked down to expect his hands. A split second later, his eyes flew up to meet hers which were frozen on his face. Neither of them breathed as he realised what he had said and her mind pelted some long forgotten memories at her. Hard.

'_In my office, Lady Bolls' _

'_You and me Bolls. We're a team.'_

'_I'm everywhere Bolly. I was needed and I was there.'_

'Why did you call me that?' she asked, her tone a little sharper than she had intended.

'It just slipped out' he replied, wondering why her tone had gone from mild to quite harsh and snappy in a matter of seconds.

'How could it just 'slip out'? What does that even mean, 'just slipped out'? Bolls? How many other people do that you've just met do you go around calling 'Bolls'?' Gene stared at this seemingly crazy woman who was suddenly growing ever more hysterical before his very eyes.

'I don't bloody know, woman! Jesus, calm down before ya break your knicker elastic' his tone was starting to become impatient as he watched her stand up and pace a few steps in front of the desk that he was sat at. At his words, Alex turned sharply, leant towards him with one hand propping her up on the desk and one pointing a finger directly in his face as she snarled

'Don't you tell me what to do. Don't you _ever_ tell me what to do' quickly pulling back from his face, she waved her hands around in the air as she continued. 'Ohhh the mighty Gene Hunt always has to have everyone under his control and giving out the orders. Well _I - _' she jabbed a finger at herself – 'for one will not take orders from _you' – _then jabbed the finger at him, once again leant forward close to his face as she breathed heavily. In her head, she was asking herself where the hell this had come from and why she was overreacting so much but deep down she knew it was because she had had such a reaction to him calling her Bolls and he didn't even know why. Why had she heard him say it to her so many times before? She'd just met the bastard! How did she have so many memories of herself reacting to that very name as if it was the most normal thing in the world? Her head was all over the place and it seemed that the way her mind had chosen to express that confusion was through anger.

Gene looked pointedly from the finger which, was still pointed firmly at him, to the woman who was staring daggers his way.

'Would you kindly remove your finger from my face, Madam Fruitcake' he asked, his tone sharp.

_Well, does it say who it could be in your crystal ball, Madam Fruitcake?_

'And DON'T call me that either!' she yelled, spinning on her heels, letting out a scream of frustration and stomping towards the door. Glaring at Gene as she ripped the door open, she stormed through it and let her feet take over, leading her outside and to her car. Before she had even really registered where she was, she was clutching the steering wheel of her bright red car and shaking with frustration. Knowing she couldn't drive in the state she was in, Alex just let her head fall forward and rest on her hands which held the wheel.

This shit was supposed to have stopped. It _was_ stopping, and along comes this great oaf with his shitty attitude and nicknames and she's right back at square one.

Fan-bloody-tastic.


	5. Somebody That I Used To Know

She had no idea how long she stayed in her car for, but eventually her hands stopped shaking and she was able to stubbornly force an artificial calm over herself. She was fed up with the confusion that had settled over her life ever since she had woken up and all she wanted was to go back to the life that had once been hers. Sure, it wasn't perfect and she had made some massive mistakes I her time, but it was simpler than this. Simpler than feeling she was constantly missing _something. _If was as if she always had that horrible feeling that you get when you just know that you're forgetting something once you've left your house, only to realise that it was your car keys, mobile or some other trivial object. But unlike forgotten keys, she couldn't roll her eyes at her forgetfulness and go and grab her forgotten memories off the kitchen table. She could never shift the 'Alex. Think. You're forgetting something important' feeling. It had been less intense in the last few months but it only took a word or a song or a name to bring it back with an almighty whack.

And if a song or a name was an almighty whack, then Gene Hunt had been an absolute knock out punch. She switched on the radio in her car to drown out the noise of her thoughts and to try and give her something else to focus on. Letting out a deep sigh, she rested her head against the back of the driver's seat and closed her eyes, listening to the 80's-esque song which filled her ears.

_But you didn't have to cut me off_

_Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing_

A smile played on her lips as Alex instantly recognized the song. It was one that Molly was obsessed with and would play on repeat, yelling along to it even though the high notes sounded truly awful – a voice even a mother couldn't love. Alex would often shout up for her to stop strangling the cat and give her ears a break, but Molly never listened and just carried on warbling along to the music.

_And I don't even need your love_

_But you treat me like a stranger and it feels so rough_

_No you didn't have to –_

Her hand instantly flicked out and slammed the off button of the radio, cutting song short as she sat breathing heavily once again. The short section of song had put a name to one of the many emotions that had been swirling around her for the last half an hour; rejection. Alex put her head in her hands and let out a small whine of exasperation. The day was getting to be all too much for her and it was only half past bloody nine. Keeping her head rested on one hand and her eyes closed, she reached out and pressed the power button on the radio once more.

_-You said that you could let it go_

_And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know_

_But you didn't have to cut me off_

_Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing_

_And I don't even need your love_

_But you treat me like a stranger and it feels so rough. _

_No, you didn't have to stoop so low_

_Have your friends collect your records and then change your number_

_I guess that I didn't need that though_

_Now you're just somebody that I used to know_

The last notes faded out with its mixture of electronically synthesized instruments and the radio presenter began to ramble on about nursery rhymes and the charts and Alex switched it off. Things where slightly starting to slot into place in her head and a few tiny questions began to answer themselves. The problem was that the small answers seemed to be paving the way for even more colossal questions to be asked.

She was now certain that she had met Gene before. Possibly – no, definitely – multiple times. And it had… what? Hurt her when he hadn't recognised her? How could that even be possible? She didn't have a clue who he was. She had no connections to him whatsoever except a set of completely over-the-top emotions and a seriously insane response to a nickname that had struck such a deep internal cord with her. She remembered the short snippets of memory that had hit her when he had called her Bolly and – what was the other one? – Madam Fruitcake? Why did she have a bubble of laughter forming in the pit of her stomach? On second thoughts, it could be a bubble of any number of things – apprehension, nerves, excitement? She wasn't really sure. Her thoughts were distracted by a movement in the corner of her eye that caught her attention and she looked over, her focus being drawn to the man who was at the centre of her thoughts. He was stood there on the steps of the station looking left and right, apparently unsure of which direction to head in. She automatically pressed the button to lower her window but stopped herself from calling out to him as he approached a teenager walking past him with a group of friends. She rolled her eyes at his abrasive tone as he spoke to the kids and asked where the nearest pub was. Laughing slightly at his out of place accent, the boy pointed to Genes' left and put on a thick cockney accent.

'D'an tha' way, Guv'na.' He laughed again with his friends as they gave strange looks to the distinctly out of place man in desperate need of a pub. Gene frowned at the kids backs as they walked away and muttered something about, what looked like, arrogant bastards. But Alex felt that something was wrong. Something with the scene that had just played out in front of her didn't feel right. Something was out of place.

With a sharp intake of breath, she realised what it was and for the millionth time that morning, she felt like she had been slapped round the face, a cold chill shooting down her spine.

What the boy had said. He was mistaken. It wasn't 'Down that way, Govner', it was 'Down that way, _Guv'_


	6. Chchchchanges

**A/N. It's been a couple of days since I've updated because this chapter would just not go right for me – I hate it when that happens. It's a reasonably long one and I hope that I got it right in the end! **

**Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, favourited and subscribed to this story, you don't know how much it means to me! **

**If you have a moment, please take a second to drop a review of this chapter, I would really love to know your thoughts on it. **

**Thank you and enjoy! **

**MBRB'xoxo**

'Gene!' she all but scrambled out of her car and ran after the man as she clicked the button of the central locking over her shoulder. At the sound of his name, he turned and quickly rolled his eyes when he saw who it was that had been calling it. Hr really didn't feel like dealing with the fruit loop at the moment, all he wanted was a nice quite glad of whiskey. Was that too much for a man to ask for?

'Gene, wait' she told him, tripping slightly on the pavement as she got a few paces behind him, causing herself to reach out and grab his shoulders to steady herself, letting out a small involuntary gasp. Gene shrugged off the hands that were gripping his shoulders and swung round to face her, his face the picture of annoyance.

'If you run in those flamin' shoes then you're gonna fall flat on your pretty little face, aint ya'. A three year old could work that one out. And get your claws off me. Jesus.' He grumbled as he finally shrugged her small hand off the shoulder that it was gripping. Alex seemed surprised she hadn't thought of removing her hand herself and awkwardly brought it up to touch her hair as she put her weight on one foot and let out an awkward laugh.

'Sorry. Look Gene…could we please talk?'

'Talk?' Gene looked mildly dumbfounded at the request – that had certainly not been what he had been expecting. He had thought that the posh bird had wanted to pitch another fit at him. Talking hadn't been on the list of possibilities, and he had _certainly _notexpected the small hint of a plea in her voice.

'Talk? What about? Surely you don't need any more practice at talking at people. You seem to go on enough as it is'. He shifted his weight as he spoke from the heels of his feet, to his toes and back again, his eyes focused just above her head and not at her actual face. It was his usual attempt giving off signs of being so in control of the situation that he didn't even need to give attention to whoever he was talking to. Alex could read him like a book. She was used to him looking past her, not at her.

Wait. What? She ignored the thought and shook her head in momentary frustration but returned to the conversation with Gene.

'No Gene. I think you may hold some answers for me. And I may possibly have some for you. Although I don't now what they could be at the moment. I mean, I haven't a clue what's going or what is happening to me but-'

'Do you ever stop _talking?_ I'd hate to be your bleedin' 'usband. He probably doesn't have any flaming ears left' Alex looked down at the floor with a look of half awkwardness, half embarrassment on her face.

'I…don't actually have a husband' she told him quietly, bringing her eyes up to meet his.

'That wasn't a chat up line, Drake. I wasn't tryna fish out information' casting an obviously critical eye over her body from foot to head, he raised his eye brows with distaste. 'Shouldn't have even made that mistake on second thoughts' He sniffed pompously. 'Like anyone would even 'ave ya in the state you're in. Plum-in-mouth voice don't exactly match ya image does it' he stated. Alex felt her stomach churn and wrapped an arm around herself, trying to hide the unshapely way her blazer hung off her. Again, she found herself wishing she had chosen to spend more time on her wardrobe but it had never really seemed to bother her before.

'Thanks so much, Gene' she replied, giving him a sarcastic smile. God, this man was infuriating. All he'd done was insult and shame her, yet she knew that there was something about him that was connected to her. And it was a connection that she needed to know about. She needed to know about it desperately. 'Such a gentleman'.

'Never a gentleman, Drake. Just the Manc Lion'. He couldn't remember much from what had happened to him before he had arrived here, but he remembered being the Manc Lion through and through. It was something he had been proud of and admired for. Gene Hunt; predator. That would never change, no matter where he was. Alex, however, rolled her eyes and let out a short shot of unamused laughter, mumbling a soft 'whatever' and instantly feeling like a twelve year old school girl.

'So what about this drink, Lady?' Alex looked at him confused and he looked back at her with an exasperated expression. 'If you wanna bloody well talk, you can buy me a bleedin' drink. Where's the nearest pub?' he asked her, looking around as if a pub was going to materialize from out of nowhere

'The Kingfisher. It's just down the road' Alex told him, taking a couple of steps in the direction of the dingy little pub. But her steps stopped as she thought of something. 'Actually…'

'Make your flamin' mind up' Gene mumbled.

'Benvenuto A Casa is this way. We'll go there' she turned on her heels and began to make her way in the opposite direction as Gene followed behind her unenthusiastically.

'Sounds like a shit'ole.'

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Together they entered the small Italian bar and her eyebrows raised in surprise at the friendly atmosphere that engulfed them. It wasn't the most exciting of places and it certainly wasn't packed, but there was a respectable amount of people sat at the little wooden tables, sipping various drinks. Alex didn't need to ask what drink Gene wanted as she ordered a large whiskey and a glass of red wine. Leaning on the bar, one hand under her chin, Alex took the chance to have a proper look around her. It was a nice little place, wooden beams running across the ceiling. There was a limited amount of artificial light, but candles melted into bottles were on every table and provided a cosy feel to each individual table. It was a place that she felt would be somewhere she could really relax in after a day of work or enjoy a quite drink with a friend. There was none of the horrible claustrophobic vibe of the other pubs that she was often forced to frequent and as she was handed her drinks, she returned the welcoming smile of the bartender. Gene had already picked a seat and was awaiting his drink with a frown firmly set on his face. Jesus, did that man never smile? She hadn't seen him even raise the corner of his lips since she had been in his company but she had a feeling that if he did smile, he would look devastatingly handsome. Handing over the amber liquid, Alex sat down as Gene wordlessly nodded his thanks and took a gulp of his drink. With a contended 'ahhhh', Gene rested one arm on the small table they were sat at and looked over the rim of his glass at the woman who sat opposite him. An awkward silence passed between them and Alex sipped her wine, looking anywhere other than at him. Placing her glass on the table and tapping the stem of it with her nails awkwardly, Alex pulled her lips in slightly and waiting for Gene to break the silence that had engulfed them.

'You gonna talk then?' he asked her shortly. His tone came across as snappy which he hadn't intended it to do and he felt a pang of regret as she looked down at her glass, at the ceiling, at the walls, at any small detail of the room that wasn't him. Why was that? Had he really intimidated her that much? She didn't seem like she had been particularly daunted by him when she all but demanded that he talk to her or when she had stormed out of the question room in a whirl of frustration and ill-fitting clothes. Eventually her eyes had scanned every area of the room and she had very little choice but to meet his eyes. This was a conversation that she really didn't want to have to carry out but then again she knew that if she didn't, there would be a million and one questions that would go unanswered. Instead of skirting around the topic, she decided that it was best to be direct and head on. Barrel through this Alex. Come on.

'Why are you here, Gene?' his frown made it clear that he didn't really understand the question.

'Why am I here? Because you dragged me 'ere by the scruff of my neck, ya daft cow' he raised his glass to his lips, shaking his head slightly as Alex exhaled and briefly closed her eyes to get her thoughts straight. Meeting his blues again, she sighed

'No. I mean why are you _here_?'

'Adding emphasis to the same question does fuck all, lady' he told her, frustration seeping into his words. Alex realised this was going to get her nowehere. If she wanted answers, then she was going to need to implement as many psychological methods as was possible. She needed to find a chink in his armour that he had so expertly put up.

'Do you remember anything, Gene? Anything at all?' she asked him softly, her voice calm and probing. She hoped that the slight change in tact would catch him off guard and she'd be able to get something out of him. His expression didn't change at all, just the same stony frown as he took a second to consider his answer. _Did _he remember anything? Of course he remembered _some_ things. He remembered that he was important. He was a leader. He said jump and they said how high. But this fruit loop was right. There were things that he was forgetting, and rapidly at that. _Who_ said how high? He was sure that he would have been able to remember when he first got here, so why couldn't he now? And come to think of it, how had he even got here? It was all a bit of a blur. As if one place had dissolved into another as it does in a dream. His eyes met the deep hazel green mix of hers and he swigged the last mouthful of whiskey and placed the empty glass on the table, the thud seemingly bringing him out of his thoughts.

'Are you sayin' I'm not all right up here?' he asked with his eyes narrowed, leaning closer to Alex and stabbing a finger at his temple indicating his mind.

'No, I'm just asking if your memories are a bit…hazy' She had seen the distant look in his eyes after she had asked her question and knew that there was something he was hiding. She just needed to grasp his secrets by the corner and slowly tug them out of him. 'I know it's a horrible feeling, Gene. I know there are times when you know that you're forgetting something and it's something so _so _important, but you just can't grasp onto it. I think we could help each other find out what it is we're forgetting.' Gene, who had been inspecting the bottom of his glass with seemingly great interest, looked up at her with a frown. How had this daft cow known what he was going through? Or was she using her psychobollocks and trying to make him admit that he was crazy? If he was honest, she seemed sincere. She seemed to believe what she was saying – that they could help each other. Could they? His shoulders slumped as he sighed and began to give in to her. He trusted her. He didn't know why, but he trusted this woman. Rubbing his temple, he spoke.

'I don't remember that much. I'll remember things and then when I think abou' them, I can't remember anything else. It's like if I don't think about stuff, I can remember it without realising but as soon as I do realise what I've thought or said, it's gone.' God, he sounded like a nancy boy. Maybe he should start writing flamin poetry. Alex nodded her head. She knew that he was going through what she was and she just _knew_ that he was the key to her memories.

'What do you remember? Can you remember anything for certain? Anything at all?' She urged him. She knew that after she had woken up she had a couple of memories that she was able to hold onto for a while, but as time slipped past her, so did they and she lost them too. Gene frowned a bit as he tried to sort out his memories in his head.

'I… remember a chessboard' he said hesitantly, then rubbed his eyes with frustration. 'No that's not right, ya know. I think it was a room. But it was painted all checkered like' he looked up at her, aware that he was making no sense. Now he'd said it out loud, yes, he was sure it was a room. He was surprised to see her mouth open slightly and her eyes had widened.

'My chessboard room…' she whispered. He remembered her chessboard room? But she was sure that hadn't been a memory that she had forgotten after waking up. She had been thinking about her chessboard sanctuary for years. It was imprinted on her mind. Yes, still not completely clear, but it had been relived so many times. The day her parents had died had been the day that she had began to take comfort in the bold checks and the Gene Genie.

The Gene Genie.

She gasped softly as she realised the significance of the name. She had always thought that she had imagined her Gene Genie, that he was just another figment of her imagination because the day had been so blurred and confused for her, drifting along like Alice lost in Wonderland, not sure what was real and what wasn't. But now he was here. Was this really her Gene Genie? He remembered her chessboard room that she had searched for for so long. Countless times she had described it to people who she thought may know where it was – a room like that wasn't going to be common – but they had always shook their heads and said that they had never been in such a place. The closest she had come to finding the truth was asking Evan, but that day had been the only taboo between them and he had never wanted to talk about the day he had become her legal guardian.

Genes voice interrupted her inner turmoil.

'_Your _room? I think you'll find it was my room, Misses Woman. My kingdom. That much I _can_ remember.' He knew that whoever or whatever in that room was his, under his command and in his control. That he knew for certain.

'So it is you. You're the Gene Genie' she barely even processed that her hand had raised itself and was reaching out to touch his cheek until he was leaning away from her with a clear 'you're crazy' look on his face.

'No touching unless we're on a date, Drake.' Catching herself, she quickly pulled her hand away from him and coughed awkwardly. She just couldn't believe that he was here. He was sat across from her.

'Do you remember me? You helped me. I met you the day my parents died and I had nothing. Do you remember me? Alex Price? I was only a little girl. Do you remember?' she gushed, leaning towards him, eyes wide. She was praying he knew her, this man was such an important part of her childhood and she hadn't even been able to remember him most of the time. He had been such a mythical being to her that she had built him up until he was such a powerful person. That was, until she realised that such a godlike being couldn't really exist and like a child being told the truth about Santa, she began to let go of her Gene Genie. He wouldn't come when she needed him anymore and he was slowly forgotten, not to be remembered until the day she brought him a glass of whiskey.

'Alex Price…' he tasted the name quietly and felt something prod at his memory. A little box with a small blonde girl inside, banging on her confines. A little girl in her poncy uniform and neatly tied back hair. Alex Price. Oh, there she was. An exploding car. A scrote of a godfather.

'I remember her. Parents blown to kingdom come' yes, there it was. It was all coming back to him. The Dad had done it, if he wasn't mistaken. Alex nearly cried with relief.

'Yes. Yes! That was me, Gene. That little girl was me. I'm Alex Price. You helped me. You _saved_ me' her face was completely alight and Gene did his best to ignore the niggling feeling that there was something wrong. Alex Drake wasn't the little girl – she _couldn't_ be. But why? Why was there no possible way that this woman in front of him could have been the little girl that she says she was? He allowed her to continue her stream of thoughts.

'You told me that day – oh god it's all coming back, Gene! – you told me that if I ever had any problems, then I just needed to call you. 'You just call the Gene Genie' you said' she let out a slightly delirious giggle as she tried to reign in her excitement. But then something hit her –

'Why do you look the same? How can you look _exactly_ then same? That was nearly 30 years ago. How can you not look like an old man by now?'

'Alright missy, I'm not that bloody old' he scowled at her. She was right though. If she really was Alex Price, she had grown into a woman now and he was still the same Manc Lion that he had always been. Had time really gone on that far? But still the feeling that something was wrong insisted on being payed attention. Gene cast his mind back to the day that she was speaking of.

x-x-x-x-x

Looking out through the door of his office, he looked into the face of the little girl who had just lost everything.

'Bye little Lady. Any problems, you just call the Gene Genie'

He watched as little Alex took Evans hand and together, they left his kingdom. He hoped that she would be okay. Poor mite.

With his eyes still fixed on the back of the little girl, he heard a voice interrupt his thoughts.

'How come you were there taking the little girls hand? That couldn't have happened. You weren't there. You're not real'

Bloody hell, more of her insane blather. Did she ever just speak plain flaming sense? Apparently not. Finally turning to his left to look at the woman who had spoken, he gave her the ghost of a smile.

In his head, Genes mind went into slow motion mode as he knew what he was going to see. He knew it. He knew _her. _

He was met with a confused look from his right hand woman. His DI. Brown permed hair and piercing eyes. Perfectly applied make up and an expression suggesting inner turmoil.

'I'm everywhere, Bolly. I was needed and I was there'

x-x-x-x-x-x

Her hair was different, not as cared for and it was now just natural; straight with a hint of a wave. Her face had maybe a touch of quickly applied foundation but was free of the signature 80s harsh stripe of blush. Her eyes were as piercing as they had ever been but weren't lined with blue anymore and had no coloured shadow on their lids or mascara elongating her lashes. But she was undeniably her. She said that he hadn't changed a bit since he had last been I the company of little Alex Price, but in that moment, Gene knew.

Neither had she.


	7. I'll Be Watching You

Gene wasn't sure what to say. How could you possibly tell someone that you remember them being in 1981 and they were pretty much the same age then as they were now? And furthermore, how did you tell them that without sounding like you need a couple of men in white coats to come and see you? Although the thought did cross his mind that nothing would sound crazy to her. Not anymore. He glanced at the woman who was sat across the table from him and properly looked at her face for the first time since he had 'met' her. She had a couple of lines around her eyes now and he wasn't sure if they were laughter lines or just simple lines from aging, but in a strange sort of way they suited her. Added something to face that hadn't been there before. Although he couldn't place his finger on what exactly it was, he decided that he liked it. Her eyes were as gorgeous as they had ever been, completely captivating and enchanting. How could he have ever forgotten those eyes? There had been many a time he had sat at his desk looking around and he had accidently caught those eyes with his. On those occasions, she would always give him a little smile and then look back down at her desk, even if there wasn't actually any paper work there for her to be looking at. He supposed that she was still beautiful even though he would never tell the posh tart that – she would never let him live it down and it would only inflate her ego more than it already was, the bloody woman, always thinking she knew best and that her way was the right way. He did however find himself wishing that she would look after herself a little more. When he had known her before, she was always perfectly turned out and beautifully presented and having her here before him now without that care being taken over her appearance wasn't what was making him uneasy. It was the fact that if she wasn't taking care of her looks, then she probably wasn't taking care of herself properly and that was something that Gene really hoped he was wrong about.

Fuck. There he was again with his head fully of nancy boy thoughts. He'd be asking her to dance before he knew it at this rate. He made a promise to himself right there and then to never, ever dance with Alex Drake and it was a promise he was determined to keep.

Her heavy sigh brought him out of his thoughts and he saw that she was looking pretty deflated as she looked into the bottom of her empty glass. With slumped shoulders, she closed her eyes for a second. It was all getting too much for her. All she wanted to do was get back to Molly and forget this entire thing. Forget the fact that this man had returned to her life and once again marked the beginning of a new chapter for her. And she had the feeling that this chapter was going to be a major plot-point in her story.

'I remember you, Alex' was all he said. He wasn't sure _what_ to say really. He didn't know how to tell her that she had been there that day the Prices' were killed, but not as the little girl she thought she had been.

'Yes, you said Gene. But that still doesn't help us. I want my memories from when I was in a coma back. I don't want to relive my childhood. Look, maybe this was a bad idea. I should just go' she told him softly. She didn't think that she could sit with him here for much longer. Tables around them were beginning to empty, the people who had occupied them going back to work after lunch and they were soon only one of two couples who were in the place. The little bartender busied himself by clearing down the tables, humming a cheery tune under his breath which was a stark contrast to the grim vibe Alex and Gene were giving out. Rushing over to them when he heard her words, the bartended smiled kindly at the both of them.

'Oh, Signoria, I overheard you sayin you be leaving. No, no no. You stay. You stay and I get you another drink. There. Sit, sit' he gushed as he scuttled off to get two fresh drinks for the paid. Gene watched the strange little man leaving for a second before he looked back at Alex and continued their conversation.

'I don't mean that I remember the Price girl. I mean I remember _you_ with your bloody psychiatry shite and ya' flaming awful high heels always tap-tappin' everywhere'

'It's psychology' Alex hissed automatically. Would he never get it right? Her mind answered for her; no. But what had he been saying? He remembered _her, _but he hadn't meant Alex Price? That made no sense…

'What do you mean? How could I have been there? I mean, I was there. When I was younger, I was there with Evan' Gene just shook his head slightly.

'Don' you remember a woman bein there? A woman next to me?' he asked softly, surprised at his gently tone. Alex tried to cast her mind back but there wasn't much that she could remember. She recalled holding Evans hand as they walked out of the checkered room. She remembered glancing around to get one final glimpse of the man who had been so kind to her; who had picked her up when she had been at her lowest and placed her on her feet. Come to think of it, when she had looked back there hadn't just been her Gene Genie there. Hadn't there been a figure beside him? Hadn't there been a woman? She wasn't sure. It was all a bit of a blur and nothing was really making sense. A stinking headache was beginning to wash over Alex and she knew that she would need to go home and get some rest soon before it turned into a full blown migraine. Instead of leaving as she said she would, Alex looked up at Gene and frowned. _Had_ there been a woman? And if there had been, who was she?

'There might have been. I…I don't really know' she finally replied. Gene sighed. It was clear that his memories weren't anywhere near as blurry as hers where. Why was that? Because she had spent longer away from the memories than he had? Had more time to put them out of her mind and allow them to fade and blur into the past?

'Think' was all he said to her. He didn't remember everything, not by a long chalk, but he knew that she had been there. He knew that they had been a team. Alex and Gene. Although come to think of it... Alex and Gene didn't sound right...

Alex tried to think, she really did, but there was just Gene there in her memory. Although now that he had mentioned a woman, there was another presence in her minds eyes next to Gene as she had turned and waved goodbye. Perhaps there was someone there, but she couldn't put a face to them and they had seemed insignificant when compared to the pillar of a man who had captured her entire attention and imagination.

'I can't remember' she said, frustrated at her poor memory. 'It's just blank.' It really was the most infuriating feeling, like your own mind is locking you out and keeping deep dark secrets from you.

'Oh, seriously. You can't bloody remember that there was someone _right next to me_ but you can remember everything else? How flamin typical of you' he rolled his eyes and wished that he had another glass of whiskey to drink. He had a feeling that he was going to be here a lot longer than he had first anticipated.

'I just don't remember, Gene, okay? I can't remember who the fucking woman was, and I can't remember much about that day at all, so stop pushing me to! My parents had just been blown up in front of me so do forgive me if it's a bit of a blur!' Alex couldn't stop herself. She hadn't meant to snap at him, but it really was insanely annoying to be told that there is something that you should remember when you just _can't. _She put her head in her hands and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself down a bit, but it did very little for her.

With her eyes closed and her breathing getting back to its normal rate, Alex had a flash of a memory. It seemed out of place from her other recollections from that day, but she was certain it was the same day. It seemed like an out-of-body experience, with herself looking down on the little girl dressed in a posh red school uniform. She watched as her younger self took hold of Evans hand and walked out of the checkered room once more. But how were her memories still running? You can't remember something if you had already left the place that you were remembering. She remembered turning to Gene again and telling him that he couldn't have been there – he wasn't even real and Gene meeting her eyes with a shadow of a smile on his lips.

'I'm everywhere, Bolly. I was needed and I was there' he had told her. And she remembered agreeing with him in her mind. Knowing that he was telling the truth and knowing that he _had_ been there when she had needed him. More than once. He had been there for her when she was a little girl dressed in a red uniform without a soul in the world to hold her hand and he had been there to catch her when she had landed in such a strange place dressed in quite a different red uniform.

And then her mind led her down another path of memories that paved their way through the long forgotten section of her past.

A ridiculously short red skirt, a ridiculously low cut red top, a heavy fur coat and heels so high she could barely walk in them. Hair much bigger than she was used to and more make up than she normally wore in a week. A boat. A car. A man with snakeskin boots. Bollinger Knickers, a choice between a punch and a kiss and a white jacket. Short snippets of memories flashed past her and before she could properly view one of them, she was onto the next. Wine – lots of wine – a rejected proposition, Champaign and a thatcherite twat. Her Mother, her godfather, some photographs that would change her thoughts on the people she loved forever more and her father. A red balloon being released into the air and a little girl being carried away in secure, safe arms. A room with black and white checks on the ceiling and floor and a desk she called her own with a perfect view of what everyone was doing at all times. And then Alex Price. But at the same time… Alex Drake. DCI Gene Hunt sat with his main lady, DI Alex Drake in his office together. A team. How it should be.

Alex brought herself back to the present day and lifted her head from her hands to look at the man across from her. Gene Hunt. The Gene Genie. The Manc Lion. The Guv.

'I remember'


	8. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

**A/n. This is just a very quickly written chapter to get them out of the bar because I was getting a bit sick of the talk/memory/talk/memory rut I was finding myself in. So enjoy this little filler chapter and I hope to have something actually _interesting _happening soon! **

**MBRB'xoxo**

She was slightly breathless with the sheer impact of the flashes of memory. It wasn't everyday that you realise that you seemed to be forgetting not only a major part of your memory from your childhood, but also several years of your life that you lead whilst in a coma. How was this even possible? Come on Alex, you're a psychiatr – psychologist. Shit.

'Okay, so my mind created a world for me to live in whilst I was in a coma. And that world was in 1981 because that was the year that my entire life changed. That makes sense, the mind does incredible things…' she mumbled to herself as her thoughts jumped and leaped about in search of a way that this whole thing could make any form of sense.

'Your mind doesn't do incredible things, Lady, it does bloody mental things' Gene cut in, adding his two cents worth which was not appreciated by Alex as he propped his head on his hand, the picture of boredom and earned himself a hard scowl. She didn't bother to reply to him though, and instead continued her thinking aloud.

'So a second in a coma was days, weeks, months in 1981 –'

'You were there 'til 83' he added helpfully. This time, Alex barely even physically acknowledged that he had spoken but she did pause for a second, considering what he had said.

'Yes…1983. 3 years. How could a brain possibly create such a large scale world when it is under such trauma in the first place? How could each construct be so complete and seem so real? And the places that I went…there were entire cities in my head. Entire countries. Each house was so detailed. The brain cannot completely imagine new faces, it's impossible. People in dreams are all people that you have seen before, if only briefly, but surely I could not have put an entire life and personality to each and every one of them… how would that work?' Gene allowed her to keep on babbling for a good couple minutes more until he had enough of her talking to herself and making him look like he was sat with a fruitcake, so he interrupted her, causing her to look up at him in surprise as if she had completely forgotten that he was there at all – which she had.

'Gene. God, sorry. I just… I just don't understand' she sighed, leaning her head on her hand and looking at him with tired eyes.

'Yeah, as you said a million bloody times. Look, I don't get it either but can you stop calling me a flamin 'construct' cos I'm not.' It had really started to piss him off after the gabillionth time she'd said it. 'I will not let you take credit for creating this –' he motioned to himself 'in your pretty little head because frankly Drake, I know you and you don't have the imagination to come up with something so wonde'ful.' He gave her a sarcastic smile which she returned before her face fell again briefly and then was replaced with a wide-eyed grin and a triumphant laugh. Gene frowned at her. Why the hell was she laughing now?

'What?' he snapped. Her laughing in his face as she was gave him the impression that she was laughing at _him_ and Gene Hunt did not like to be laughed at.

'You're right. You're _so _right, Gene! You couldn't have been in my head because you're _here_! You're in front of me right now. You can't have been in my head because you're _not_ in my head!' her expectant smile indicated that he was supposed to, what, understand this crazy explanation? Because he really didn't. He didn't understand a word that came out the woman's mouth. Taking a deep breath, Gene put both his hands on the table to brace himself, and began to stand up.

'Anyway, it's been… hell. But can we continue this crazy talk some other time? I think I have a free window when hell freezes over?' he looked down at her surprised face and didn't give her a chance to reply. 'Great. See you then' he started to walk to the door of the little bar and he tried to ignore Alex's cries of protest as he suddenly walked away from the table, but he still found his feet stopping as he reached the door. He wanted to leave. He _needed_ to leave because he wasn't sure how much she remembered. How much she knew about him. Sure, he couldn't remember everything about her and his memories were far from complete, but he was pretty sure that hers were even less whole than his. And he wasn't too sure if he wanted her to remember. She was settled here again. She had her daughter back and he distinctly remembered her daughter – Molly was it? – being the one thing that she longed for. So surely it was unfair of him to confuse her even more and allow her to remember all the things that had happened back in the 80s. Maybe it was best if he really did just leave and let her live her life with her daughter as she wanted to do. So why had he stopped when she had told him to wait.

'Since when were you the one giving out the orders, Bolls?' he asked her, his tone reasonably harsh but she detected the ever so slight joke in his voice. She also noticed the casual way that he had called her Bolls again, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. And it actually felt like it was.

'Since you were in _my_ world, Guv' she replied with a devastating smile on her lips. Oh. That's why she had been smiling. Her use of his nickname was – god help him for turning into such a yuppie twat – like being home. Some familiarity in such an unfamiliar place.

'Come back to mine? We still have so much to talk about and I don't know about you, but I just want to relax a little' she waited for his answer and he was unsure if he should say yes or no. Seeing his indecision, she tried to convince him further.

'I have an unopened expensive bottle of wine in the kitchen' she tempted him, knowing he could never say no to the offer of a drink.

'Alright, Bolly but you better keep your frumpy clothes on. This isn't a date and I don't want the sight of you in those godawful frillies ruining my drinking appetite' he warned as he followed her out the bar and into the street. Alex couldn't help but laugh at him. He was just so _Gene. _


	9. Who's That Girl

Gene and Alex began the short walk back to her house in complete silence, neither of them really knowing what to say to the other. What _do _you say to someone who you remember from a life that you lead in a coma? The etiquette wasn't really there to follow. It was a chilly afternoon and so there was a limited amount of people milling about on the streets and those who were all had a clear destination that they were heading for, heads down and shoulders hunched. There was an uneasy sort of atmosphere following the odd looking pair as they made their way down the street; the woman with a worried expression on her face as if she had the world on her shoulders and the man standing just taller than her with his hands shoved deep into his pockets, giving the impression that he wanted to be anywhere other than where he was. A movement from the corner of Gene's eye caused him to look at the woman he was walking with and he saw that she was pulling her thin blazer closer around her and crossing over arms over her body to keep out the chill. Ridiculous woman. Even when she was in 'sensible' clothes, they weren't bloody sensible.

'Do you want my coat?' he asked her roughly. His tone came across as a false offer and completely disguised the fact that he genuinely didn't want her to be cold and really wouldn't mind if she accepted his offer. Alex glanced at him quickly and shook her head no, loosing her arms around her so she didn't seem like she was so cold.

'I'm okay, thanks' she smiled briefly at him and then once again it was heads down, keep walking.

As they approached the house, Alex began to rummage around in her handbag as Gene took in the place that Alex Drake lived. It wasn't what he had expected, although come to think of it, he wasn't sure what he had been expecting. The house that she was walking up to was a bit like Coronation Street mixed with a bit more money. Nothing splendid and nothing fancy, just terraced houses which were clearly for those who didn't have money issues but weren't able to throw it around like teenagers. Her bright teal coloured door made him smile as he looked to the other houses with their sensible colours; all blacks and browns and off-whites. All very dull. He wasn't sure if the colour of the door was her doing or if she had just brought it like that and had never bothered to change it, but found himself hoping that it had been her who had added a splash of vibrancy and interest to the other wise boring row of houses.

'It's not much, but it's home' Alex told him as she entered the hallway of her house, leaving the door open for him. She dumped her keys on a little table by the door and began to kick off her shoes, shouting for Molly. Her daughter appeared from the living room straight ahead of the entrance on her mobile, chatting away about some party that she was planning to go to, walked straight past her Mum and Gene, and headed up the stairs to her bedroom.

'As you can see, she's a real charmer' Alex drawled, rolling her eyes and leading Gene through to the kitchen that was on her right. 'Always on that flaming phone to one person or another. I'm surprised she's home at all actually, she's normally round someones house when I get in.' she rambled, trying to make sure that the ice that had formed between them on the walk home was cracked as quickly as possible. It seemed to work as Gene leant against one of the kitchen counters and watched her as she pulled two wine glasses out of a cupboard, placed them on the table and then reached for a bottle of red that was sat on the side. 'I'm assuming you want some?' she asked with a smile, bottle now open and poised above a glass ready to pour,

'Assumed correct' Gene replied, waiting for her to fill the glass and then taking it from her. Alex took a quick sip of her wine and excused herself so she could go and get changed out of her work uniform. She never felt comfortable in the plain office wear that she spent her days in and it was always a treat to be able to peel them off and put on something more casual. As she disappeared up the stairs, Gene took the time to look around the living room that she had told him to go through to. A couple of sofas sat central to the room, all centered around a TV but still angled to face each other so that conversation would still be able to easily flow. A couple of pictures lined the walls and he wandered over to one that caught his eye. It was of Alex and Molly, both of them laughing. Alex was hugging Molly from behind with her head rested on her shoulder and both their eyes on the camera, laughing. It looked to have been taken a couple of years earlier as her face was slightly less lined and she appeared to be free from the weight of the world that the Alex upstairs seemed to be lugging around with her. Gene found himself smiling at the picture. From what he could remember, Alex had always expressed such devotion and love for Molly, and that was clearly reflected in the photo he was stood in front of. Footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs as he ran his eyes over the other photos. They were all of her and Molly, all taken a couple of years ago with a younger Molly than the one that he had seen on the phone earlier. His observations were interpreted by Alex. Having gone into the kitchen quickly to grab her wine, she smiled at him as she sipped it and sat on the black leather sofa, curling her feet beneath her.

'Take a seat' she smiled at him, gesturing to the opposite end of the sofa that she had sat on.

'Blimey, you look 30 years younger without those bloody awful clothes hanging off you' he commented as he followed her instructions and made his way over to the sofa. Maybe she didn't look _thirty_ years younger, but she had definitely stripped a couple of years away when she had removed the frumpy clothes she had been in all day. She had quickly picked out a casual ensemble of black leggings, white strappy top and long beige cardigan that she had thrown over the top as an after thought. She wasn't really sure how to reply to the – was it a compliment? Or just a comment that she had been looking particularly awful before? Whatever it was, she wasn't sure what to respond with and so smiled with a soft laugh and took a keen interest in the wine that was settled in her hands. Silence settled over them, but unlike the uncomfortable quiet that had blanketed them on the walk home, this was a companionable hush that allowed them to sip their drinks and just think for a second. It was Alex who broke the quiet with a slight cough. She looked up at Gene, flicking the hair out of her eyes with the back of her hand, and took a deep breath.

'So.'

'So.'

'I'm not really sure what to say' she let out with a small laugh.

'Call the nearest rag, they have a new headline' Gene replied flatly, but the upturned corner of his lips indicated he wasn't being horrible.

Taking in a deep breath, Alex looked at Gene quizzically. 'What do you remember about me, Gene?' she asked. She had been dying to know ever since she had remembered that he had been a part of her 'coma world' as she had come to think of it as. Gene was slightly surprised by the question, but didn't show it. Instead, he pondered on the question for a second. What _did _he remember about her? He remembered her driving him to distraction when she seemed to misplace the knowledge that it was he who was in charge and not her. He remembered that she would always be putting up evidence on boards and calling meetings. He remembered that she was one of the best coppers he had ever worked with.

'You pissed me off every single day without exception. Like a dog with a bone when you got going, would not let a man have a second of peace to have a cuppa tea and a garibaldi. Did my 'ead in.' Alex smiled and looked down at her glass once more. It didn't surprise her that he remembered her being a pain in the arse, even from that morning it was easy to see that the pair would clash on a regular basis.

'You were a good copper though. Talked a load of shite but got results in the end. But a bloody liability. Like looking after a five year old. I couldn't go for a bleedin' slash without you wondering off and getting in a whole tonne of shit. I can't count the amount of times I had to come and save your scrawny posh arse' Alex let out an indignant noise of protest.

'You did _not_ have to save me' Gene shot her a look which was clearly one of disagreement.

'Bollocks didn't I. I spent 3 years pulling you out of ridiculous situations that you wouldn't have been in if you weren't such a stubborn tart'

_So cold. Pure white light. Eyes closing. So tired. And a face – a clown? No. Gene Hunt. Relief. Pure, unabashed relief. Safe, _

_Unable to move. Tied down so tight, the bonds were cutting. Pain. Shouting for help, please please help. Hope that he'll come. Knowing that he'll come. Harsh shakes and being freed from the ties. Gene Hunt. Safe. _

_Tense atmosphere. Volatile and unpredictable situation. A gun and a gun shot. Being throw to the floor. Sudden weight crushing the air out of lungs. Bullet embedded in a wall at head height. Gene Hunt. Safe. _

'I never asked you to' she said quietly, her voice that of a petulant child trying to get the last word.

'Should have left ya then. Supers don't mind it when a decent DI gets themselves killed at all. Would have come back and bit me somehow. Always bloody did with you.' Alex rolled her eyes and took a gulp of wine.

'What else do you remember?' Gene, once again, took a few moments to try and think. There were still gaping holes in his memories. He had a couple of fuzzy names and vague places just out of reach in the corner of his mind but there were a couple of moments that he had crystal clear in his head. Just a couple of moments where he could see every single detail. The smell of the air, the temperature of the room, what time of day it was, what mood he was in, the tone of the conversation, what she had been wearing.

Because she was there for them all.

'I remember you drinking a lot. Not fussy when it came to what, as long as you didn't shell out for it. Working with scum all day must'a given you a few ideas on how to con a drink out of even the hardest of bastards' Alex raised an eyebrow with interest but didn't interrupt. 'I remember one night when you hadn't been with us long and you got rat-arsed and I had to practically drag your boney self up to your flat. You lived above a bar, remember that?' he asked her, suddenly aware that she might not remember that she had lived above their regular drinking spot – what was it called? Some daft bloody name that was escaping him at the moment.

'I remember' Alex replied softly. She remembered pulling herself up the stairs in the entire spectrum of drunken states ranging from completely sober to completely paralytic. Going through the front door sometimes completely exhausted, sometimes in fits of giggles.

'Well I pulled you up those bloody stairs and dumped you on that god-awful sofa as you mumbled shit. You stank of wine and beer and I remember thinking 'this daft bitch will fit in eventually'' Gene looked over at her with her soft smile. He had been right, she had slotted into their little CID family after a while and she was soon the mother bear of the group. Did that make him father bear? He flaming hoped not.

'I remember punching you' she said with a sly smile. Now her memories were starting to slot into place, she distinctly remembered feeling her blood boil as they stood nose to nose, her jaw tightly clenched. She had said he would never be able to afford her and he had reeled of a stream of insults that had cut her deeper than she liked to admit. And then her hand had flown out and connected with his cheek. Another shitty comment and her fist had connected with his jaw in a fierce upper cut. 'You deserved that, you bastard' she told him, enjoying seeing the memory spark in his eyes.

'Couldn't feel my jaw for a week'

'You called me a bitter, twisted, messed-up, clenced-arse, toffee-nosed bitch.' They both stared each other down for a second before Gene gave in and looked away with a sniff.

'I stand by that, too' he mumbled.

'I can always reacquaint my fist with your face' she giggled. Giggled? Since when the hell did you _giggle_, Alex? Get a grip woman.

Once again, a silence fell between them as they both thought back on the day. She had barely been there two minutes and she had nearly knocked out her DCI. If that wasn't a sign she would shake his world up, she didn't know what was.

'I'd best be going' Gene eventually said, placing his glass on the little coffee table and standing.

'Oh, er. Yeah' she followed him out to the hallway, crossing her arms tightly over her stomach, unsure of what to say. 'We'll talk soon though, won't we?' was what actually came out and she wished that it didn't sound so lonely and pleading. She had actually found the time she'd spent with him surprisingly pleasant and a picture of her other life was beginning to slowly build up in her mind.

'If you want to' he replied. Although it came out sounding like a statement, his expression indicated a question as he opened her front door, took a couple of steps outside and turned to face her. A moment of silence passed between them as Alex leant her head against the doorframe.

'I'd like that' she told him with a slightly awkward smile that he found utterly too charming. Gene nodded in a way that he tried to make look casual and calm, but wasn't quite sure if he managed and turned to walk away, hands shoved deep in his pockets.

'Right well, I'll be off then' he turned his shoulders back to face her slightly and raised one hand in a goodbye as he walked away from her and her home.

'Bye Alex'

'Bye Gene' she replied in almost a whisper, not even sure if she had been loud enough for him to hear. She remained with her head leant against the door frame for a couple of seconds, watching him leave, before she eventually hauled herself away and closed her front door on her link to the past.

'Hello?' Molly called from upstairs as she thought she heard the front door close from upstairs over her music. 'Who's that?' she called even louder, turning down her music to hear if she had imagined the door shutting or if someone had actually come in. Hearing nothing at all except the hum of the house, Molly gave it another couple of seconds before slowly turning up her music again and turning back to her half typed text message.


	10. I Drove All Night

**A/n I'm being slacker than I'd like with these updates, so apologies, but I hope you like this little chapter and I shall get started on the next asap! **

**As always, a little note with your thoughts is super appreciated, and special thanks to JoinTheHunt1981 and GeneHuntress for their consistent lovely reviews! You absolute babes **

**Enjoy! **

**MBRB'xoxo**

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

After Gene had left, Alex walked up the stairs and tapped on the door of Mollys bedroom. As usual, there was loud music coming from her room with the door muffling the actual words of whatever song it was she was listening to. It resulted in an annoying half noise which meant nothing to Alex except the beginnings of a headache. No reply came from Molly, so Alex pushed open her door slightly and peered around the door. Molly was lying on her bed, stomach side down and kicking her feet. She had a notebook in front of her and looked to be doing homework, pen in one hand and phone in the other as she wrote out a quite one-handed reply to a text. Her head was moving from side to side slightly in time to the music and Alex could do nothing but smile. It didn't seem necessary to distract her from her work and although she hadn't sat down and spoken to her properly in so long, it could wait. Shutting her door with a click, Alex made her way back downstairs and flicked on the TV. Molly, having been in her own little world, saw her door closing out of the corner of her eye and raised her head to see what had caught her attention. As the door fully closed, she raised her eyebrows. She was sure she had left it closed in the first place, but then again, she might not have.

It was several days before Alex heard from Gene again, but it wasn't often that she went more than an hour without him entering her thoughts. A couple of vague moments from the 80's came back to her at the most inconvenient of times but there where still annoyingly large holes in her recollections. She could remember a mural, but where had it been? She could remember a cat costume, a cigar and … superman? But why? And she could remember wine. Lots and lots and lots of wine. There needn't be a 'why' for the wine, but who with? When? Where? Surely she couldn't have sat with Gene every night for three years in the same place at the same table and drunk glass after glass of wine? Could she? Nothing would surprise her anymore.

But though nothing could surprise her, she found that she could be hurt by the memories. Not so much the memories, but by the people in them. Namely Gene. They had said that they would talk soon, yet here they where 4 days later and she hadn't heard a thing from him. Come to think of it, it had been her who had asked if the would talk soon and all he had said was 'If you want to'. She had taken it at the time as him not wanting to push her into having to talk to him, but now she thought about it, perhaps it wasn't that at all. Perhaps he didn't want to be cruel and tell her no outright, so instead gave a non-committal reply that she had read too much into. Perhaps he didn't want to see her at all. She wouldn't blame him. If she was causing as much confusion for him as he was for her, then it was perfectly understandable that he didn't want to see her anymore, but the thought still stung that maybe he hadn't even said goodbye. She had sent each and every night lying in bed facing the ceiling trying to remember the missing details of her 'other life' and thinking of Gene. He seemed to act as a catalyst to her memories, speeding up the process of her rememberings. She tried to convince herself that this was the reason she was hurt that he hadn't come to see her, that it was because she had wanted to discover more about the Gene she knew – and the Alex _he_ knew – but when she was alone in bed at night with nothing but the dark and the occasional stray moth to keep her company, his broad shoulders and ruggedly handsome looks would enter her head. There had been a connection between them that she thought he had felt too, but in such a state of confusion, maybe it was just another mistake she had made.

Throughout the day, she had been to work and played at being normal, but it where as if her character just wasn't appearing right. She couldn't get the part as polish or as perfect as it had previously been and it was becoming more and more frustrated. In some ways, the people around her thought that she was becoming more herself – even over 4 days they could see a change in her. Her face had makeup carefully applied and she had dug out a fitted blouse from the back of her wardrobe as opposed to the unflattering ones she had worn for the last couple of years. But as she lined her eyes in the morning, it wasn't because she was feeling more like herself, it was because she could see the critical gaze of Gene looking her over and frowning and she could hear 'Blimey, you look 30 years younger without those bloody awful clothes hanging off you' ringing in her ears. Her cheeks burned with offence at the thought of him frowning at her appearance as if he were disappointed at what he saw and she promised herself that she would try and look more presentable in future, just in case she should run into him at some point. It bugged her that she was trying to make herself look better for the sake of a man she barely knew on the off-chance that she should pass him in the street but the thought of him seeing her again in such a state was bordering on mortifying. But she hadn't run into him. She'd heard absolutely nothing from or of him and it was beginning to piss her off.

After work that evening, Alex made her way to the little Italian bar or the first time since she had been there with Gene. As she walked through the doors of the dark little bar, she was greeted by the same man who had served her before.

'Ahh, Signora. Sit, sit' he told her with a heavy Italian accent and a smile lighting his face.

'Thank you' she told him gently, not sure if he had even heard her as he lead her past the tables, yabbering on in an excited little voice.

'He wait for you, I'm sure of it, Signora Drake. I know he wait for you. I offer him table for one but he always say no'. Alex wasn't really listening to watch the short man was saying until he stopped her and motioned to a table with a glint in his eye. Sitting at the table, as he had said, was a man who was waiting. And judging by the way his face momentarily lit up as he saw her and then changed to impassive as quickly as it could, he was waiting for her. The little barman scuttled off with the promise of a drink for Alex, and at Genes insistence, she sat down.

'I though you'd gone home' she told him softly, tying to hide the bitterness that crept into her voice and biting back the 'without telling me' that nearly slipped out. Gene remained with the same slightly pissed off expression on his face that he always had and he sniffed.

'Me? No home to go to' he told her with his usual tone of distain hiding the usual sadness his words would normally come with. Alex looked at him for a second, taking in the way he held his glass a little too tight and his shoulders where slumped more than they usually would be had he been in better spirits. The ball of resentment that had began to roll in her stomach was banished as she smiled gently at him.

'Well I hadn't heard from you for a couple days'. Her words probed for an explanation as to why he hadn't got in contact with her and he knew that there was no way that he would be able to avoid answering her unasked question.

'I couldn't exactly just turn up at your house with a cheap bottle of plonk and settle down to a night of crap TV and trying to remember your life from when you where nearly dead' he looked just over her shoulder in the annoying manner he always did, his head tilted back and chin stuck out a little. Alex laughed gently and the little bartender came over with a large glass of wine filled to the brim with the deep red liquid. She instantly took a sip to calm the nerves in her stomach and then placed it on the table, playing with the stem of the glass.

'I suppose not' she muttered. Of course she hadn't thought of that, she'd just jumped to the worst conclusion and assumed he didn't want to see her. The psychologist in her began chattering away about how that had a pretty clear meaning behind it and she was getting in too deep but she promptly screamed at that part of her with 'LALALALA NOT LISTENING SHUTUPSHUTUP_SHUTUP_'.

'The question is, why the bloody hell didn't _you_ find me? You're the woman. You're supposed to do all the runnin' around aren't ya. You're lucky some other fortunate pair o' legs didn't take your seat. Been batting them away'

'Find _you?_ How was I supposed to do that? You waltz off into the city – that city being _London –_ and you say that I should just _find_ you? Do you know how hard it is to find someone in London, Gene? Especially when they think you've left them. Where would I even start?' she ranted, surprised at his nerve. Gene listened to her with his arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrows slightly raised. She was bloody feisty.

'You're knicker elastic is in danger of breaking, love. And you did find me, didn't you' he told her, a cocky 'you-know-im-right' look passed over his face and Alex, who had opened her mouth to argue, stopped before she spoke and then promptly closed it. He was right; she had found him. Did that mean he had been sitting here waiting for her every night for 4 nights on the offchance she would turn up.

'How did you know I'd find you here?' she asked after a while, her voice quiet, as she took a large gulp of well-deserved wine.

'I don't remember everything about you Bolly, but I do remember you're a sentimental tart' he replied, also taking a mouthful of his drink. She knew he was right. Sooner or later she would have ended up at this little bar no matter what. If he had never shown up at her place, she'd end up here eventually in the hope that it would bring back some memories of him and therefore memories of life 'before'. If he had turned up, she was certain that they'd end up sharing a drink over one of the old fashioned candles in a bottle at some point. But he hadn't come knocking, nor had he completely vanished from her life. It had been 4 days and here she was.

'Am I really that predictable?' she asked, looking at him through her lashes.

'One of the most unpredictable women I've ever had the misfortune to meet. I don't think even you know what you're gonna do from second to second, let alone me tryna be Mystic flamin' Meg' Gene sniffed again, looking like there was a bad smell under his nose.

'Then how did you know I'd be here?' she asked, curious as to how he seemed to know nothing about her, but so _so _much at the same time.

'One other thing I remember about you Lady B, is that you drink enough to sink a ship. Knew you'd be here eventually. And this cheap shite' – he held up his glass – 'doesn't actually taste like piss. So nothing to loose' he drank some of his 'cheap shite' and hissed through his teeth. Yes, he was glad to see her but no, he wasn't going to tell her the entire truth. He wasn't going to tell her he'd ask the Italian if she'd been in every time he entered the bar and that he didn't need to say her name because it was so obvious who he was waiting for. And he wasn't going to tell her his heart sank just a teeny bit as the bartender shook his head each time he asked, poured him a drink and told him his table was free. It's funny how quickly you can become a regular – and a friend - in a place when you have the world on your shoulders and a woman on your mind.

'Well, I'm here now so lets just have a quite night of drinking and talking, yeah?' Alex asked, smiling into the face of Gene Hunt. In reply, Gene raised his glass and clinked it against hers.

'Bottoms up, Bolls.'


	11. Love Resurrection

**A/N I quite like how this chapter turned out so I hope you all enjoy it too! Things are all starting to slot into place and it's coming to a (kind of) close! **

**Thanks for sticking with it and as always, any reviews are so _so _appreciated! **

**Enjoy, **

**MBRB'xoxo**

For the first time in such a long time, Alex felt free.

Sitting there with Gene, she felt conversation flow and laughter pour from her. She had that strange feeling that hits once in a very rare while when you have that small bubble of happiness form in your chest. And that bubble just sits there, not bursting and not moving. Just sits there. And all you want to do is laugh even where there is nothing at all humorous being said or done, but you want to laugh and it feels like everything is right in the world just for a second and you don't know why. All you know is that for that moment - right there and right then - you're going to be okay.

As another bottle of house rubbish is ordered, Gene glances around and notices that the tables around them have been abandoned. Apart from a lonely looking man with grey hair who was propped up on one elbow at the bar, head rested on his hand, they where the only ones who remained. Alex's laugh trailed off with a strange little giggle that he found made him both raise his eye brows and smile. He had found out a lot about her in the last couple of hours that they had been there and she was becoming more and more intriguing to him. From what he could remember of the 'old' Alex, there was always something that she was holding back from him. The memories that he could conjure of her where all slightly tainted by a strange feeling that there was something she was keeping wrapped up deep within her. He remembered feeling that there had been something she wasn't telling him on numerous occasions and he remembered it driving him crazy. Where they not supposed to be a team?

But her? Here she was different. She talked freely about her work and her childhood, her past and her daughter. Mostly she talked about her daughter. She had the twinkle in her eye that only a mother could have when her child was on her mind; that look that comes when you're thinking of something so perfect and so precious that it's not just love but a bond that runs deeper than anyone could ever imagine. She told him how proud he was that Molly was getting on so well at school and that she was so,_ so_ bright. He'd said he wasn't surprised she was doing well, what with her mother having a head full of brains. She told him the relationship between Molly and Evan was so strong and it was such a relief because a lot of the time, Alex was at work and knowing Evan was there is a weight off her mind. Gene said that Evan seemed to be a good man and they where both lucky to have him. She told him that Molly had so many friends she could barely keep track of them and that she was barely ever at home now because she was always doing something, somewhere with someone. Gene hadn't said anything then because he detected the underlying tone of sadness that she had spoken with. Instead, he took a gulp of the drink that was in front of him and remained silent.

Alex fell silent too, realising she had spent an awful lot of time talking and not a great amount of time listening. God, he was probably bored rigid, listening to her yabbering on about her life, her work, her thoughts, her feelings, her daughter. What kind of man wanted to hear that, let alone Gene Hunt?

'God, I'm sorry, Gene. Hark at me going on. You should have shut me up hours ago!' she gave a shy little laugh, mortified at the amount she had spoken about herself.

'You never could shut up though, Bolly. What was the point?' Her head shot up to look at him, her mouth open in protest, but the wink that he gave her signaled he was just kidding with her and she got the feeling that he didn't mind her talking at all, for whatever reason. Alex sighed and then gave Gene a soft look.

'Tell me about you, Gene.'

'What, so you can analyse every syllable I say? I don't think so, Misses Woman' he huffed. Truth be told, there wasn't much to tell except a long, boring story that started with a little boy who saw too much pain, a family who where so cracked and broken that they where irreparable, and a man who didn't quite know who he was. It wasn't the kind of story that made for light evening talk. Maybe another time.

'How about we talk about the 80's instead?' he asked. He wanted to know what she remembered so very badly. He wanted to know if she remembered their relationship. There where parts of it that he could – like the arguments – but there where parts of it that where so blurred and out of character that he wasn't sure if they where memories of him, of dreams or of films that he had watched at some point in his life.

_A woman crying behind him. He didn't want her to cry. How could he get her to stop? "Now if you don't stop crying, I might even start feeling sorry for you. And God forbid I might even have to put a comforting arm around you". A small sniffle and a sense of relief. Thank God for that. _

_Cold fear rushing through his body. There was no way in. There was no way to her. His hand raised and the glass formed an intricate spider web of cracks and then fell. Great. Vienna? He hated this bloody song. Why do they always choose the dramatic songs?_

_Nancy music playing and the room in a state of ease. She was stood above him in such casual clothes, yet he was in… shirt and tie? Strange. "Let's have a dance" Ha. Not likely. "No, Gene Hunt does not dance" and then dancing. This one _must_ be a shitty film of some kind. The Gene Genie would only dance if it were in return for the world. _

The more he thought about specific moments, the less they made sense, so talking to her about the 80's now seemed like the best option. Maybe he could get his head straight once and for all. Alex seemed surprised at the suggestion, but nodded after a couple of seconds of thought.

'Where do you want to start?' she asked. Gene wasn't sure. Where _did_ he want to start? He couldn't very well ask 'was our relationship purely professional or was there times when the lines got a little bit squiffy?'. In the end he settled for;

'Well I told you what I remember about you when you asked. Tell me what you remember about me. I need a bit of an ego boost'. He sniffed again, his chin stuck high in the air and his eyes shining. Alex saw the funny side of his words and let out a small laugh.

'I remember that smugness very clearly, for a start' she told him, playing along with the little 'tell me about me' game she had started all those days ago. She thought back to what she _could_ remember about him. As with everything, there where clear memories and then some slightly blurred memories. And then there where the ones that just made no sense whatsoever and gave her the feeling she was merging multiple memories together. But to start with the basics…

'I remember you being horrifically sexist and misogynistic. I've never met anyone that had such a bad attitude towards women. Except maybe Ray' the mention of Ray had been as an after thought that she barely even processed, but at the mention of him, the leather jacketed, mustached man that had been floating in her head for years finally had a name. Raymondo. Yes, that was it. She carried on.

'But I remember there where times when I had noone else to turn to and you where there, even if it was with some shitty remark that I wasn't sure if was to cheer me up or make me feel worse. But at least you where there'

_I was needed and I was there… _

'I remember…' she cut herself off with a laugh and a blush crept over her cheeks. God, could she really say this? One of the first things she tells him that she remembers, could it really be this? Gene caught the redness of her cheeks and wondered what the hell it could be that she was thinking of that could cause her to blush so much.

'Oh, Jesus, this is so embarrassing' she cast her eyes to the ceiling and then dropped her head in her hands, laughing. She then quickly flicked her fringe out of her face and looked into his eyes. 'Okay, I remember we where doing… something. Trying to get some files or something. And we broke into some form of vault. But I accidently let the door of the vault close…is any of this ringing any bells?' she asked, hoping that she wouldn't have to keep on going and that he would suddenly go 'ohhhhh, yeah! I remember' but no. Instead, he just sat there looking both confused and intrigued. She muttered 'christ' under her breath and continued. 'Well obviously vaults aren't designed to hold _people_ and so there was precisely no air in there. And no cooling system. God, it was boiling and pitch black. All we had was your flaming lighter which was steadily making it hotter in there' Gene laughed lightly, picturing the scene. The both of them getting gradually hotter and hotter, surrounded by darkness. Damn his shitty memory! This was something he would love to have remembered!

'Well eventually we ended up both sat on the floor and I was _so_ sure that I was going to die there. I mean, no one would think of looking in a random vault on the off chance that two people had been locked in there, would they?'

'Probably not' he interrupted with his agreement.

'So it was really very hot and in the end…well, you had taken off your tie and shirt and I.. god, I was baking and thinking I was going to die – if that was possible – and anyway, there was barely any light so I just took off my shirt too' she laughed.

His mind flashed him a second of her arching her back, chest stuck out and shirt being pulled off to reveal bright red and pale, flawless skin. A smile formed on his lips as he saw himself reach out for her and tuck her under his arm, protecting her from… what? Death? He wasn't sure then and he wasn't sure now, but it just felt like the right thing to do.

'Ahh I remember. You shut that bloody vault door and then acted the innocent!' Gene remembered being livid that she had carelessly let the door slam and ensuring that they where well and truly buggered. But then the others had turned up. Alex's laughter interrupted his thoughts as she hid her mouth behind one hand and laughed hysterically.

'And they found us soaked in swear, half naked in the dark' she said between fits of laughter. It really had _not_ been funny at the time – in fact she'd go as far as to say it was mortifying – but now…

'And you with ya head on my shoulder like I was some kinda poofter looking after ya' Gene added, his own smile showing he also found the memory funnier now that it was well in the past.

'God, we got ourselves into some awful situations'

'Er! 'We'? I seem to recall that was you! You and you _alone_ that got us into that one!' Gene corrected.

'Who's bloody awful idea was it to break into that vault in the first place?' Alex demanded, knowing she was not entirely to blame for the sticky situation the had landed in. Gene thought back to the day and recalled it was… shit.

'I can't remember' he mumbled, hiding his words behind his glass and downing the rest of the liquid.

'You can't remember, my arse' she mumbled right back at him, also taking sip of her drink. Gene looked up at her.

'Oh no, Bolls. We have crossed our wires somewhere along the way. I remember your arse very clearly' he winked and Alex was about to go into how it wasn't right how he constantly objectifies her, but the keen look on his face coupled with his cheeky wink caused her to just burst out laughing of her, filling the bar with its loudness

The sudden laughter caused the little barman to look up from the glass he was polishing and smile over at the couple.

He was so glad that Signora Drake and Signore Hunt where getting along. Things where all starting to fall into place again.


	12. Sweet Dreams

**A/N And now for something a little bit different…. **

**I've not really been able to do a fluffy chapter with this so far, so finally…. Here's one! Enjoy and as I say every time, if you have a second to spare, please do press the 'review' button. **

**Thank you for reading, you darling person.**

**MBRB'xoxo**

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

As they had countless times in the 80's, Alex and Gene ended up at her place. Drunk. Only this time they had to walk down a street and not up a set of stairs, a little girl and not a little Italian bartender was the reason for their 'shhh's and 'quite!'s and there was a modern leather sofa to collapse onto, not a black and white striped one. But other than that, things where extremely reminiscent of a past life – if you could call it that. A little bit worse for wear, Alex fumbled in her bag for her keys as Gene stood behind her demanding that she hurry the hell up and how did she _always _manage to loose her keys? He would be doing her a favour if he stapled them to her wrist. Having finally extracted her keys from a jumble of loose coins and assorted paraphernalia, she attempted to open the door but the nearest streetlight had been broken by local yobs and her coordination wasn't so great due to the drink, so she ended up poking haphazardly at the lock with her key.

'Jesus. Give it here, ya drunken tart. Dread to think of what the Force is like these days if they let you in' Gene complained, taking her key off her and managing to open the door from behind her, only missing the keyhole a couple of times. As the door swung open, Alex stumbled slightly due to the fact she had leant one arm on it and the rested her head on said arm as she had waited for Gene to get it open. The sudden lack of _thing_ there for her to lean against caught her unawares, resulting in Gene having to reach out and catch her shoulders as she let out a shriek and then a giggle. 'Woaaahh, steady on, love' he told her as she righted herself and managed to stand on her own two feet without his assistance.

'My hero' she laughed as she walked away from him and down the hallway and into the kitchen. Rolling his eyes and dragging his feet after her, Gene found her in the kitchen already sat on one of the counters trying to tug her shoes off her feet. He laughed at the scene in front of him and waved a hand in front of his face rather chaotically as he told her that he'd do it. After all, she did look like she was going to fall of the counter any second. Alex dropped her foot and leant her head back against one of the cabinets behind her as he stood in front of her and swayed slightly. God, he must have had a shit-tonne of drink if he, the Manc Lion, was swaying. How much had she had? She wasn't sure but she didn't remember paying for much of it. All she knew was that her glass wasn't allowed to be empty before long before the barman had hurried over with a new drink for her to down. She would regret this in the morning, of that she was sure. Gene slumped down on the floor so her foot that dangled from the sideboard was level with his eyes and brought his hands up to untie the neat bow that tied her shoes. The knot caused him a moment of confusion as he tugged at the strings until it came apart and he let out a triumphant 'HA! Ya bastards' and reached for the other one. As he undid the bow and began to remove the shoe from her foot, he accidently pulled too hard on her foot, causing Alex to loose her balance on the work top and land on her feet, her hands behind her and braced against the surface where they had been holding her up. Eyes wide and surprised that she was standing so suddenly, it didn't take long for her to find the funny side of it and to start giggling loudly again. From where Gene sat on the floor, he was looking directly at the tone muscle of her calves. Dragging his eyes up her legs and over the curves of her thighs, hips, waist and then chest, he looked at her with her head thrown back, one hand up and covering her mouth as she laughed. She looked so carefree. He liked it. Deciding he couldn't stay on the floor forever – although come to think of it, it wasn't a bad idea – he reached a hand up the counter top and clumsily pulled himself up so that he was standing directly in front of a still laughing Alex. Her giggle eventually faded away with a content 'huuuuuu' and she realised that she was trapped between the arms of Gene Hunt who had his hands next to hers on the counter behind her and was looking at her with drunk, heavy eyes.

'You make too much noise' he said simply. Alex met his eyes with an equally drunk gaze, finding it hard to completely focus. It suddenly struck her that Molly was upstairs and was probably being woken up by the manic laughter of her intoxicated mother.

'I'll be quite a mouse from…..now' her 'now' was emphasized by a rather over-dramatic point to the floor to indicate this very second. Her head moved back slightly with her words and actions and she swayed about slightly, despite being leant against the counter and trapped by Gene's arms.

'You can –' she hiccupped and brought a hand to her mouth, her eyebrows raised as she waited for another hiccup to come. she carried on; ''Scuse me. You can stay here tonight if you wanna.' Her state caused her speech to become lazy and although not too slurred, she had lost some of her crisp pronunciation that she usually spoke with, much to Gene's secret amusement. But her offer had actually surprised him and he looked down at her – now she had taken her shoes off he stood quite a bit above her – he considered the possibility of staying here the night with Alex Drake. Could he? Usually he would say no. The awkwardness in the morning was something he could really live without. Her little girl waking up to find a strange man in the house and her mother in a very tender state wasn't going to go down well but with her intense green eyes staring lazily into his and her breath tickling his face mixed with the alcohol raging through his blood stream, staying the night at Bollys seemed like a cracking idea.

'Don't mind if I do.'

'Mmmkay' Alex shrugged her shoulders and then leant forward, putting her head on Genes shoulder and leaning all her weight onto him. 'Why is everything so messed uuuupp?' she groaned. Gene awkwardly wrapped one arm around her and patted her in a supposedly comforting gesture, but what turned out to be just extremely uncomfortable for him. Alex didn't seem to notice and instead just turned out of his arms – or arm – and walked out of the kitchen, back slumped and shoulders dropped, head tilted back slightly in a manner reminiscent of a petulant child and made her way to the living room where she threw herself on the sofa face down and lay there. Gene followed her into the living room and rolled his eyes. Bloody woman. Such a liability. Instead of sitting on one of the single chairs that where in the room, he sat down on the floor in front of her and leant his back against the couch, with a distinct feeling of de ja vu. He was sure they'd been sat like this before. And then it struck him. When she had still been new to his world and had tried to drink away him and his team they had ended up much like this in her flat above that bar.

'We've been here before, Drakey' he slurred. Alex turned her head so that she was facing Gene on the floor next to her and tried to process his words through the slow system that was her alcohol-effected brain.

'Yeah. Four days ago. S'my house, dipshit' she replied. _Obviously _they'd been here before. She'd been here many times, in fact.

'Noooo. No no _no_. Back when we knew eachother…when did we know eachother? Then. We've been here before _then_ when you passed out because you can't handle your drink and I had to look after you'. Alex decided that his words made far too little sense and so instead of forming a decent reply, patted his shoulder, yawned and said;

'You always look after me. You're my Gene Genie.' Her eyes were beginning to grow heavy and the room had that horrible feeling of being spun around her on a rotating drum that she was the centre of. She just wanted sleep and something to anchor her to the floor. 'Gene. Anchor me' Gene looked at her with an eyebrow raised.

'What the flaming hell are you talking about, woman?' he asked. Anchor her? She was making less sense than a bloody spit roast at a bar mitzvah.

'Anchor me. Everything's spinning' she complained. God, if it didn't stop soon she'd have a nice mess to clean up in the morning.

'How'dya want me to do that?'

'Hug me' she said simply, her eyes closed and her breathing getting heavier. Gene muttered under his breath as he pulled himself to his feet – none too gracefully – and demanded that she shimmy closer to the edge of the sofa. He then managed to squeeze in the gap between her and the back of the couch. Lying there awkwardly, her didn't really know what to do. This wasn't really his forte and so instead of actually touching her, he lay with his arms flat against his side and highly uncomfortable. After a while, he heard Alex tut and reach behind her to find his hand.

'You dopey oaf' she mumbled as she found what she was looking for. Holding his hand, she guided it around her and held it to her stomach, his hand still clasped in hers. 'Anchor me' she demanded again and this time, he wriggled his other arm under her waist and wrapped her in a firm hug. Loose curls and strands of hair where poking his face and he was trying his best not to sneeze or do anything that would make her annoyed so he just tried to move them away with his nose. Was this what she meant when she said to anchor her? He wasn't sure. How long would they be like this for? Again, not certain.

'Alex' he whispered into the dark room, not wanting to wake her if she had fallen asleep.

'Yeah?' she asked, her voice thick. Clearly she was about to.

'Is this what you meant?' he asked, tightening his grip on her hands and squeezing his arms around her slightly to indicate the position they where in. Alex just took a deep relaxed breath in reply and gave him a 'mhmmm' with a nod of her head. To his surprise, a couple seconds later she shimmied further into him so they where closer than they had been before, her back flush against his chest, and she pulled his arms a little tighter around her. With his face now directly in her hair, Gene decided that there was no point in fighting how they had ended up and instead decided to embrace it – embrace _her_. So he moved slightly so that his chin was resting on her shoulder, their faces right next to each others, and curled his legs slightly so he was wrapped around her, protecting her. She was so warm and her soft breathing and occasional snuffles was the only noise in the room. It was so peaceful. Eventually, he began to drift off to, but not before subconsciously pulling her into him just that little bit further and hugging her that little bit tighter.


	13. Don't You Want Me Baby

Molly trudged down the stairs in the morning with her eyes barely open but still trying to tuck her school shirt into her skirt with one hand and type out a text with the other. In the end, the text won out and her shirt remained tucked in on one side and hanging out on the other. No matter. She'd do it later. Walking straight past the doorway to the living room and heading for the kitchen, Molly rubbed at her eyes lightly, careful to not smudge her mascara but still attempting to force them to become alert. Man, she _hated _mornings. Grabbing some breakfast biscuits from the cupboard, she shoved them in her bag and left the house to walk to school. She knew that Evan would be back later – he had been forced into some meeting or other that meant he hadn't been able to come home last night which was something he had felt awful about, but she was getting older. One night on her own wasn't such a drama. And he'd be back later. Molly liked her God Father living with her. He wasn't bad, really and they did genuinely get along very well. Sure, he was sometimes overprotective and did her head in, but that was only to be expected she supposed. They gelled quite nicely all in all.

It was the slamming of the door that fully woke Gene. He had been in between sleep and waking for a while - ever since he had heard the awful noise of Molly's alarm - but had been desperately trying to remain in the dream world so that he didn't have to face a) his pounding head, b) the day and c) Bolly. The very same Lady Bee that his arms where still firmly around and who was lying so very close to him. He could smell her perfume from the night before and the shampoo that she used. It all made for very nice waking up. Except for the fact that she was now stirring in his arms and emitting noises that resembled that of a bear coming out of hibernation. And bears are never happy when they come out hibernation.

The first thing that she realised was that her mouth was absolutely bone dry. She had the horrible fuzzy feeling that only comes with too many drinks. Surprisingly, her head wasn't absolutely thumping, but there was a definite dull _thud thud thud_ that was making itself known. A couple of aspirin should put an end to that. And then there was the fact that she was fully clothed and there was a strong arm that was solidly holding her. For a second she tried not to think about it. She did not even want to _know_ what the hell she got up to last night, but the thought of the previous night only brought with it memories of Gene. Gene and wine. Bloody hell.

Turning slightly in his arms, she saw that it was indeed the face of Gene Hunt that was behind her and his body that she was so close to. Well _that_ was going to make for some awkward conversation later. Hopefully much _much_ later. Seeing that his eyes where slightly open so he was in fact awake, Alex coughed softly and moved slightly, indicating that it was time to untangle themselves from each others arms. Gene got the hint and removed his arms, and Alex swung her legs to the floor and sat up. Too quickly. Rewind on not having a headache. She'd clearly been lulled into a false sense of painfree-security with _that _one and not it was hitting her like a freight train. Fabulous. With her elbows leaning on her knees and her head in her hands, Alex glanced over at Gene who was still lying on the sofa where he had been when they had woken. Shit. A small groan escaped her and she fixed her eyes firmly on the floor.

'Regretting out night of passion, Bolls?' he asked her, trying to ease the awkward tension in the room just a little. Instead, he earned himself a look which clearly told him that his comment was in no way funny. Silence descended and eventually Alex stood up and made her way to the door.

'Where ya going?'

'To brush my bloody teeth' she replied without a backwards glance.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Brushing her teeth turned into a long, thorough shower and a lifetime choosing what to wear, mainly because she didn't want to have to go downstairs and face Gene. She remembered collapsing onto the sofa in a distinctly unladylike way and demanding that he 'anchor' her. What the hell was she thinking? Well, she wasn't. That was the problem. Her internal voice that said 'shut up shut up _shut up_' and her 'don't do that, Alex. That's a bad idea' monitor always decided to abandon her and replace themselves with a mouthy tart when she was drunk. And last night she had been very, very drunk. She was surprised – and pretty proud – that she hadn't woken up with Gene in her bed this morning, completely naked with whip marks or something. She wouldn't put anything past drunk Alex. Drunk Alex was up for anything. The thought of what could have happened with Gene both made her stomach churn and flip. It was true, they had been getting on surprisingly well and she had certainly been…. lonely for the last couple of years. But Gene Hunt? Really? No, Alex. Just no. Eventually deciding on black skinny jeans and a loose beige top, she carefully dabbed on some make up and stood back to look at herself in the mirror. It struck her that she hadn't really bothered with herself for so long, the woman who looked back at her didn't really seem like _her_ anymore. The clothes that she had chosen actually showed a figure which the clothes she generally shoved on when she wasn't working rarely did, and the make up that she had tried to distract herself with applying made green eyes large and cheekbones high. She felt like the old Alex Drake. And she liked it. Deciding that a small hint of gloss on her lips could do noone harm, she applied it and made her way downstairs to where Gene was now sat rubbing his temples.

'Got any tablets? My brain is tryna escape my head' he mumbled. It was only then that he looked up to see Alex walking into the kitchen looking… well… gorgeous. Suddenly feeling a lot better, he followed her and saw that she was reaching up to one of the higher shelves in a cupboard to reach a little box of pills. Her top had risen slightly and was showing a strip of skin that looked, frankly, irresistible. He was a man. He couldn't help it. Making sure that he kept his generic slightly pissed off expression on his face, he thanked her as she turned around and handed the bottle of pills to him and then turned once more to get them both a glass of water to take them with. They remained in silence as she filled the glasses, but she could feel his eyes firmly fixed on her, and it was making her more than slightly nervous. Had she put on too much makeup? Perhaps the jeans looked ridiculous. She was, after all, not in her twenties anymore.

'Is there nothing else for you to look at?' she asked softly as she leant against the counter and sipped her water. Gene didn't register what she had said for a second and then busied himself with opening the bottle of tablets that she had handed him as he said;

'Not my fault you've actually decided to make some form of effort, Drakey. Don't expect a man to not look when you're putting on a show' he handed two tablets over to her threw back two himself, not looking at Alex's slightly dropped jaw.

'I am _not _putting on any form of show, Gene!' she told him, appauled. Shit. Maybe she really had gone too far.

'Kinda show I'd pay for' he told her, eyebrows raised. Alex looked at him with a critical eye. This man was such a mystery. Was he actually trying to give her a compliment? She wasn't really sure, but he didn't sound like he was meaning to offend her. Her reply slipped from her mouth before she had even thought about it.

'You could never afford me'. Their eyes met and a stubborn staring contest began, neither of them wanting to be the one who broke the gaze and looked away. Eventually it was Alex who cracked by laughing lightly and looking down to the glass in her hand. When she looked up again, she saw that he was looking pretty disheveled and the feel of his arm wrapped around her as she woke up came back to her. She knew they had to talk about it. Dammit.

'So we had quite a bit to drink last night' she started, a little laughter in her voice.

'Speak for yourself, Lady' Alex gave him a 'come off it' look.

'How's the head, Gene?' she asked him, eye brows raised.

'Yeah, quite a bit to drink' he groaned. Alex let out a short laugh. 'So do you wanna talk about it?'

'Are you gonna let me say no to that?'

'Chances are slim to nothing' Gene let out a sigh.

'Then I guess we'd better. Why do I have to associate with such bleeding talkers?' he mumbled as he followed her into the living room where she chose one of the single seater chairs. Gene on one end of the sofa, his body turned to face her. He was not looking forward to this. Alex took a second to arrange her thoughts and what she wanted to say. There was _so _much she wanted to say. Was the fact that they ended up sleeping in eachothers arms a sign that maybe there where underlying feelings there? Was it something that needed to be labeled as a mistake and put in a box filed 'Never ever ever discuss. Ever'? She wasn't really sure how she felt about it. She knew that when she had woken up, she had felt safe. So very safe. And that was something the she hadn't felt for a very long time. But then again, they could never work. Up until a couple days ago, she didn't even think he was a real person. Come to think of it… she wasn't really sure what he was. Oh, god. Alex took a deep breath and opened her mouth to talk. Then closed it. Then clapped her hands together, tilted her head to the side a bit, gave a tight smile. Drawing in breath once more, she looked at Gene with a piercing gaze.

'We were drunk' That wasn't what he had expected, but he nodded. It was a true enough statement.

'Very'

'Very drunk' she agreed with a nod of her head. A moment of silence and then;

'Where's this going?' Gene asked bluntly. Her cryptic introduction to the speech that bound to come was not putting him in a good mood.

'That's it. We were drunk. So what, we slept together?' Alex shrugged and opened her arms. 'I mean, we didn't _sleep_ together, but we _slept_ together. Who cares? Who'll even know?' her words became quicker as she spoke and Gene looked at her blankly. 'So I say we just forget about it and just say that it was two drunken friends keeping each other warm. Yeah? Okay good. Jesus, is it hot in here, or is it just me?' she finished breathily, flapping a hand in front of her hand and getting up to pace in front of the sofa. She ended up with her back to Gene, one hand on her hip and the other on her forehead, breathing heavily.

'Okay' was all Gene said. Alex twisted to look at him.

'Okay? Is that all you have to say?' Gene nodded and Alex let out a laugh that seemed to relieve her of so much stress, her shoulders collapsing and the stiffness in her posture being released. Dragging her feet, one hand still at her forehead but now more covering her eyes, she made her way over to Gene and slumped into the seat next to him and leant her head against his shoulder.

'God, you've messed up my world so much' she laughed. Gene raised his eyebrows.

'You can bloody talk, Misses woman. Strutting into my office, flashing your knickers to whoever passed by, eyes wide as saucers and legs twenty thousand miles long' he said gruffly. Turned _her_ world upside down? Jesus, she didn't know the half of it. He put a hand around her waist and was reminded of the vault again.

'Where's Molly?' she asked quietly.

'She went to school. Woke me up when she closed the door' Gene replied, also keeping his voice down. They didn't really know why. It just felt… right. Alex let out an 'ahh' in realization. Of couse. It was Thurday, of course she was going to school.

'I have work later' she said, almost to herself. Gene gave a short nod but said nothing. 'I might call in sick' she continued. That surprised Gene. Even when she had had the most horrific hangover, Drake hadn't called in sick. So why would she now? 'They owe me a couple of days anyway. I think I could do with the rest' her voice was almost dreamy as she spoke, her mind considering the possibility of actually taking a day off. It was entirely possible. She hadn't had a day off for years and was a hard worker. One day wouldn't cause the entire collapse of the English policing system.

As she decided that she would indeed take the day off, a key slid into the lock and the front door opened. A whistling Evan dumped his small travel case in the hallway and wandered into the kitchen to make himself a well earned cup of tea. He had been gasping for one the entire drive back but there had never been a time that seemed appropriate to stop so he had ended up just waiting until he had got home. An old song stuck in his head that had been on the radio in the car escaped through his lips and Alex looked at Gene as they heard him clattering about in the kitchen, making tea. She wasn't sure how Evan would react to her having a man here. She had never really been one for bringing men back to the house and there hadn't been anyone since she had woken up. But here she was looking 'dressed up' as Gene had put it, and with a man on the sofa who was clearly wearing last nights clothes and was looking suitably disheveled. She wasn't sure how he would react to the sight. But she'd soon find out, as his whistling came closer and Evan entered the living room. He was looking dapper, as always. A suit and tie gave the impression that he was respectable and intelligent, which of course he was. But as he came into the room, he didn't look surprised to see his goddaughter with her head on a mans shoulder, and said mans arm around her waist. In fact, he didn't look anything at all. He didn't give them a second glance or any sign of acknowledgment. Instead, he just took the seat that Alex had been sat in earlier, put his feet up on the little coffee table and flicked on the TV. As he began to search through the onscreen TV guide, Alex and Gene exchanged glances of utter confusion.

'Evan?' Alex asked tentatively, trying to get a response from him.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.


	14. Where Is My Mind?

**A/n. This is a chapter that would just. Not. Go. Right. For me and therefore it is not my finest hour of writing, but please do stick with me. This story is coming to a close soon and so stay with me 'til the end! We've nearly made it! **

**Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy this rather feeble chapter. **

**MBRB'xoxo**

This Morning. _Flick. _ Tracy Beaker. _Flick. _Homes Under The Hammer. _Flick. _The Wright Stuff. _Flick. _Jeremy Kyle.

'_And you never thought of telling her? It never occurred to you that perhaps your daughter had the right to know her mother is putting her life in danger on a regular basis?' _

Another dramatic scene of 'real life' played out on the TV screen as Evan put the TV remote down on the arm of the chair he was in and lounged back, making himself comfortable. Jeremy was once again trying to solve the worlds problems. The caption on the screen today read 'Mum; Stop inviting killers into my home!'. All very interesting stuff. But neither Alex nor Gene were focused on the screen. Their attention was firmly fixed on the man who was completely ignoring them both. Alex slowly raised her head from its position on Genes' shoulder, her face quickly becoming void of all colour.

'Evan. Evan stop it. Stop. Look at me' there was a clear tone of panic in her voice, and her words were becoming frantic as she tried to get the attention of the man who had raised her. But Even didn't look at her. Even when Alex catapulted herself off the sofa and right next to him, her face an inch away from his and screaming at him to look at her, _look at her, LOOK AT HER_, he did nothing but briefly scratch the side of his face. Gene watched as the calm atmosphere was quickly shattered and was replaced with one of complete panic and confusion, and he felt that he could do nothing but watch as Alex screamed and shouted, repeatedly hitting Evans arms, pounding her fists into his biceps. But to no avail. Eventually, the fight seemed to leave her and she collapsed, her head dropped onto the arm of the seat that Evan was still sat in, oblivious to the woman who was crying her heart out next to him, painful sobs wracking her now fragile looking body. Yet Gene did nothing except watch. It was clear that Evan wasn't playing some sort of game with her; the power of her thumps on his arm could not possibly have been ignored, and the heart wrenching cries that were coming from her now would require even the hardest of hearts attention. She lifted her head and, with tears streaming down her face, looked behind her to Gene.

'Why can't he hear me? Why can't he see me Gene?' she asked softly. She seemed to have lost all the life from her and it was horrific for Gene to witness. He wanted to offer her answers. He wanted to be able to say 'Well you see, Bolls…' and tell her exactly what was going on. Fill her with answers and explanations that would end with her being able to say 'Ohh, I get it! So _that's_ why this is happening. Okay' and be able to move on, or at the very least have her pain eased. But Gene _didn't _know what was happening and the only answer he could give her was an honest one; he didn't have a clue. And the look of defeat that washed over her features as her shoulders slumped once more and the tiny spark of hope that she would get an explanation was extinguished was agony. And so Gene found himself slowly moving from his position on the sofa and kneeling next to her on the floor next to Evan. With a gentle hand, he guided her head to his shoulder and then wrapped and arm tightly around her shoulders. She was so rigid in his arms. So cold and detached. But then she seemed to melt into him, her body became like that of a rag doll and she collapsed into his touch. Tears of utter confusion and frustration landed on his rumpled shirt but Gene just held her close to him, giving her soft words of reassurance. Things would be okay. _She _would be okay. And eventually the tears stopped and Alex pulled away from his comforting shoulder. With a glance at Evan – who had been sat there the entire time rolling his eyes and tutting at the completely messed up lives of the guests on the show – she gave a deep sigh.

'I don't get it, Gene. It doesn't make sense. It's like I don't exist. Like _we_ don't exist' she said quietly.

'Least we got each other in limbo, Bolls, ey? Least I can see ya' he tried to make her feel a little better and got a small, half-hearted smile in return.

'Yeah' she agreed. Gene rubbed her shoulder comfortingly and then trailed his hand down her shoulder and to her hand which he slowly twined with his.

'Come on, Drake. Let's go for a walk or something' he told her as he stood up and pulled her to her feet. Staying here with a non-responsive Evan was not doing her any good and quite frankly, it was creeping him out. What the hell was going on? But he knew that he had to try and calm Bolly down before she popped her brain or something. Alex just absentmindedly nodded and kept her eyes on Evan as Gene put his hand on her waist and guided her our of the living room.

'He'll be okay' he told her, wanting to offer her some words of comfort that he could be certain were true. And they were. Because Evan _would_ be okay. He just wasn't too sure about the woman who he had an arm wrapped around.

x-x-x-x-x-x

They ended up at the Italian place again. Without even thinking, their feet had lead them down the road and into the dimly light bar before they had even processed where they were going and before they knew it, the little man was asking them 'why you be here so early, Signore and Signora? Surly my famous pizza could wait 'til this evening?'. He quickly realised that they were not in the mood for light hearted jokes and so left them to their own devices, providing a whiskey and a glass of ice cold water and then scurrying off back to the kitchen.

'Do you wanna talk about it?' Gene asked in an attempt to fill the horrific silence and drown out the noise of the bloody awful Italian music that was playing in the background. Alex met his eyes, her fingers playing with the edge of her glass, and gave him the ghost of a smile. She wasn't sure. Did she? Did she want to talk about how the man who had treated her as his own since she was eight years old couldn't _see _her. She didn't think she did, actually. Not yet. Instead she replied with a question.

'Can Molly see me?' Once again, Gene wasn't sure of the answer. It certainly hadn't crossed his mind when she had been there that Molly couldn't see either of them, but then again – she hadn't really paid much attention to them. But he had just assumed that she was being a typical teenager.

'I don't know' he said honestly.

'She must be able to. I would have known if my own daughter couldn't _see me_'. Her eyes filled with tears again that were dangerously lose to spilling. Something Gene _reall_y didn't want to happen. He was used to Alex getting a bit over emotional, letting out a few tears and then stopping suddenly like a tap being switched off. She didn't show her emotion like this and it unnerved him that she was now.

'Come on, Bolls. Don't start crying again'. He tried to make it sound soft and caring, but his words didn't have quite the desired effect and with a half laugh/half sob, Alex let the tears overflow and slip down her cheeks.

'Sorry. God, sorry' she choked, trying to wipe away the offending tears. 'I know you can't cope with hysterical women' she laughed, still swiping at her cheeks. Gene watched her as she battled to control her emotions and was quite touched that she was trying to keep her cool for his sake, rather than collapsing onto the table in a puddle of confusion and emotion.

'We'll figure it all out. We're a team, aren't we' he said, voice strong and commanding like it always was when they had a case that they needed to solve. This was definitely a case that needed to be solved as soon as possible. Alex nodded her head, eyes slightly puffy and her lips pulled in to stop herself letting out another sob. With a final sniff to rid herself of her tears and then a sigh, Alex met Gene's eyes and tried to express how grateful she was to him without having to say anything. From his slight nod of understanding, she knew that he had and Alex reached across the table to encase his hand in hers for a second. Her thumb brushed over his knuckles softly as she silently thanked him, and then pulled away to play with the rim of her glass once more.

'So what do we do first? How are we going to figure this shitty mess out?' she asked, voice still thick. But before Gene could answer, the Italian barman interrupted. Having approached the table without the two even realising he was there, he held up a finger as an indication that he was going to now be cutting in to their conversation.

'Ern, Signore Hunt, Signora Drake. Perhaps I can help try explain a couple things. My name Luigi. You remember?' he asked, hopefully. And in a flood of realization and disbelief that they had not recognised their old friend earlier, they did.


	15. It's All Coming Back To Me Now

**A/n So we're getting down to the nitty gritty now and I have NO idea if this chapter even makes any sense. I hope it does, but if not, please feel free to ask me any questions and I'll either answer them privately, or try to include them in the next chapter. As ever enjoy! **

**MBRB'xoxo**

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

'Luigi' his name escaped her lips in a breathy exclamation and she could do nothing but stare at him. They'd been in the bar multiple times over the last couple of days and had been greeted and served by the little Italian every single time, yet neither of them had realised that he was link to their mysterious past that they had so desperately been trying to remember. From Gene's expression, it was clear that he, too, was in shock that they had not instantly realised who it was, let alone have not realised after so many visits and drinks.

'What the bloody hell are you doing here?' Gene asked, blunt as ever. Luigi gave a little smile and indicated to one of the nearby empty seats.

'Can I sit?' he asked. Alex nodded quickly and shifted her chair closer to Gene so that there was room at the small table for him to fit. The couple exchanged a questioning glance as Luigi busied himself pulling the chair over and making sure he was comfortable. As he finally settled himself, Gene and Alex looked at him waiting for him to start speaking.

'You remember me now?' he smiled. 'I thought you never will'. Alex looked down at the table, slightly embarrassed that neither of them had recognised him. With Gene, she had had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that, even though she didn't know what it was, told her that she was linked to this man. But with Luigi? Nothing. She had just glanced over him so many times. It mustn't be nice to know that you weren't remembered.

'Yeah, we remember you. Can you tell us what the hell is going on? Do you know why all this shit's happening?' Gene asked. Yes, he was glad to see Luigi and know who he _was_, but he wanted answers. Now.

'A lot has change since the 80s, Signore. Time moves on' Luigi began to explain. It would have been hard for him to explain to them what was going on his own language, let alone another one. But he'd give it his best shot.

'Signora Drake, she wake up. And she go back to work and live her life' he smiled at Alex briefly and she gave him a small nod of encouragement, trying to hold back the urge to tell him that she _knew _that.

'But you never really wake up, Singora. You just _think _you do' he told her. Alex looked dumbfounded and Gene just looked kind of confused. Neither of them spoke for a second and then Alex shook her hair, trying to shake out the complete mystified feeling she had in her head.

'What?' Luigi sighed. This wasn't going to be easy.

'You think you wake up, but you don't. You are here like you were here in the 1981. You have things to do' he tried to explain. This time it was Gene who spoke.

'I can hear you speaking English, but it ain't making sense' he told him, leaning forward with a frown on his face. Alex shh'd him and indicated that Luigi should continue, hoping that he would make himself clearer as soon as possible.

'You couldn't rest knowing that Molly was hurting, Signora. Need to know she safe. Happy. So you come back. Signore Hunt take you to Railway Arms, but you not ready yet, so you come here and watch over little Molly' Alex smiled softly at the mention of Molly. The memory came back to her of the most painful feeling of sadness that she could ever remember feeling. Bright lights lay ahead of her and her mind was screaming at her 'this is wrong. This is _wrong_'. Her hand had pulled at the shining handles of the bar doors and she saw familiar faces smiling at her. But there was a horrible feeling in her stomach. She was leaving too much. She didn't want to go yet. She wouldn't be able to rest until she knew Molly was okay and that she was safe and happy. But there was something else as well – something that she didn't quite have time to register before…she wasn't there anymore. The bright lights of the pub had been replaced with the bright lights of a hospital ward and… and… things had just _happened._ She had been caught up in the flow of things and without even noticing that time was slipping by, a couple of years had gone by and her day was being interrupted by Gene Hunt.

Now, as she sat with Gene and Luigi, she realised that he was right. She had needed to know how Molly was before she 'passed on' or 'had a drink' or whatever the hell it was called. But that didn't explain what had happened in the years since she had woken up. She couldn't have been completely see through to her daughter for all that time, it was impossible. They had spoken, they had laughed together, they had spent hours in companionable silence.

'Molly. Can she see me? Did she know I was there? _Was_ I there?' Alex asked quietly, not really sure if she wanted to know the answer. Luigi paused for a second, trying to figure out a way to explain.

'Sometimes she feel you there. Sometimes she speak to you because she know you there, watching her. Sometimes she just talk to the air. Sometimes you hear her thoughts and think she talk to you' Luigi eventually managed to say. Alex looked like she had been slapped with a concrete block, her head propped up by her hands, fingers rubbing circles into her temples.

'Luigi. You're telling me that for that last four years –_four years – _my daughter hasn't been able to see me. She has been speaking to empty walls and empty rooms and empty seats? That's not possible. We've had conversations, we've talked, she's asked me for _advice_' her hand slammed down on the table in front of her without her even realising what she was doing and she felt hot tears of frustration pooling in her eyes. He was wrong. He was **wrong**.

'Bolls - ' Gene tried to sooth the angered woman in front of him, his hand coming to rest on her arm but she stubbornly shook him off, her breathing heavy.

'No, Gene. 'Bolls' nothing. This is ridiculous' a bitter laugh fell from her lips as she swiped a frustrated hand under her eyes to clear away the tears. 'How do you explain that I sat down with her as she cried and cried and told her that everything would be okay. She listened to what I was telling her when I told her that her bitch of a friend wasn't good enough for her. She stopped crying, Luigi. She _listened_ and she _stopped crying_. Explain that to me. Explain it to me RIGHT NOW' she yelled. There was no way. No way…

'She cried, Signora. She know her Mumma would help her, and she thought what her Mumma would tell her. You tell her what she think you tell her. And she hear it in her head because she think like you. But she don't hear you say it' Alex shook her head in denial, no longer trying to hide her tears or make any attempt to stop them. Her lips were pulled in tight, trying to stop a sob escaping her and she fixed Luigi with such a heartbreaking gaze that all he wanted to do was tell her that her little girl could see her and could hear her. But lies hurt more than the truth sometimes. Even when the truth seemed like the worst pain imaginable.

'And Evan?' she whispered, her godfather looking straight past her coming into her mind.

'He try to help little Molly. He raise her like he raise you'

'He's raised her well' she said even quieter, thinking to the beautiful and polite girl that was her daughter. It was true, Evan had done an amazing job of bringing up Molly, but it wasn't _his _job to do. It should have been hers. Luigi gave a small bittersweet smile of agreement.

'So noone can see me? The people at work?'

'You built a life for yourself in own head so you face no pain. You work when Molly or Evan not there, and you ignore anything that tell you the truth' Luigi explained sadly.

'And so I'm…'

'Dead' he said simply. A gut wrenching sob fell from her and her shoulders slumped. Gene, sat next to her, wanted to do something. He wanted to tell her that now she had her answers, she would be okay. She had him. She would be alright. But it just didn't seem like the right thing to say and so Gene did what he usually did when there was an emotional woman around; he said nothing. The presence of Gene next to her seemed to raise another question in her mind, and Alex looked up to Luigi once more.

'Why is Gene here?' she asked him, gently. Luigi smiled. He knew that question would be asked soon enough.

'Maybe Signore Hunt can tell you' he smiled placidly at Gene, waiting for him to explain. Alex also turned to Gene with the expectant look of someone who was awaiting answers. Gene looked between them both with a frown on his face.

'How the bloody hell should I know? Just landed here, didn't I!'

'Your last memory. Think. What is it?' Luigi prompted. Genes frown deepened and he tried to think back to the last thing he could remember.

… _Pain. Oh god, why did he have to get so attached to this one? And why did she have to follow his instructions the one time that he didn't want her to? The bloody woman would be the end of him… he wasn't sure that she hadn't been already …_

'I remember her leaving' he said, indicating to Alex who raised her eyebrows. That wasn't what she had been expecting. Luigi shook his head as Gene mumbled something about an empty glass, feeling the piercing eyes of Alex on him.

'You not think properly, Signore. You try forget, but you need to remember. Think' Gene rolled his eyes, but tried to think back none-the-less….

Nope. It was useless. All he could remember was her last couple of days in the 80s.

…_Jesus, she scrubs up well. How did I end up here with a tarted up Drake? Must have done something good in a past life… _

… _Dancing? Shit. Two left feet doesn't even come close… _

…_Gene you flaming nancy. Kissing her head? Christ on a bike, she really has made you go soft…_

… _I'm gonna kill him…_

… _I'm gonna kill her… _

… _She's gonna be the death of me… _

…_Bolly, don't listen to what I'm saying. I don't want you to leave… _

…_Why didn't she turn back? … _

…_How am I going to survive? …_

Gene shook his head. His memories stopped there. As she had walked through the doors, she had taken with him the last trace of his recollections. And bloody hell did he hate it. Gene Hunt did not depend on a posh bird who had a pole stuck up her arse, a plum tree growing in her gob and a brain that never stopped flaming whirling. At least, he hadn't depended on one before and he had had no intention of ever depending on one. But he had. And his last thought of the 80s was that he wasn't really sure what to do without her.

'I dunno, Luigi. I just remember her leaving'

'_No_, Signore. You must _think_. What happen _after_ she leaves? What do you remember?'

'_Nothing!_' he cried out with frustration. How many times could he say that he didn't remember anything?

'Gene, please. Just try' he heard the soft voice of Alex, her hand coming to rest on his arm. Looking into her watery eyes, he sighed heavily.

And was reminded of another heavy sigh that escaped him as the door to the Railway Arms closed…


	16. In The Air Tonight

**A/N. Little bit of a different chapter here, but we're nearing an end. Thank you so much for all the amazing ongoing support for this and so as I say every chapter, enjoy! **

**MBRB'xoxo**

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Gene Hunt. He was a man who had never been lonely before and yet with the gentle close of one door, he had become the loneliest man in the world.

Shaz. Sure he hadn't known her for a great length of time and he had allowed her to do little else but make tea - but jesus, did she make a damn fine cuppa. Seeing her leaving wasn't easy. So young, as well. Why were they always so young? It didn't seem fair.

And Chris and Ray. The only friends he could ever really remember having. Chris had done his head in with his idiotic remarks and pure dumbness at times, but he was a good copper and a good friend. Easily lead astray, but still so loyal. Having Chris around was like having a rather soppy dog. Ray had been the opposite though. If Gene wanted to have his mind taken off something, Ray would be the one to slam a drink in front of him and point out the nearest piece of skirt. It was all that was needed, and it worked like a charm. Gene wasn't really sure what he was going to do without his A Team. They had become a bloody good unit and what was a Kingdom with only a king? Surely it was just a single god forsaken man?

But Alex. He'd known her the least amount of time of all of them, yet it was her that was the most painful to think about. Her with her psycobollocks and swinging hips. She infuriated him like no other, and yet...

But there was a new recruit now. A new team and a new DI who was shouting the odds. A new body to smack and battle into line until they worked through their problems, locked some scum up in the cells and won or lost their own battles. He had tried. He tried so hard to care and to rule his world with the same steely fist that he had ruled with for so long now, but it's hard to adapt to change - and boy had things changed. His tea always turned up half an hour later and so weak it seemed like the bloody man had thrown the tea bag over the top of the cup instead of brewing it (Gene wasn't really sure how he managed to make such shite tea every single time), there wasn't the same chatter that there had always been in CID which struck Hunt surprisingly hard. He was used to the gloating of Ray and the bumbling of Chris and so to hear his team hard at work didn't please him as he supposed it should. And then of course there was the fact that they actually got offended when he called them names. It hadn't ever really occurred to him that they were _offensive_. They were just names he called them! Tyler hadn't complained when he called him a Nancy Boy so why should the newbie, Mason, complain when he called him Marilyn? And if he insisted on floating around like a bloody fairy, then why shouldn't he have a poncey nickname?

Lewis Mason didn't want to be here. He wanted to be back with his family. His wife. His daughter. Not being bullied and poked into doing things he didn't want to do by a man with prehistoric ideas and a prehistoric department to match. So it wasn't any surprise that Gene and Lewis did not make the finest of teams, even when Gene had slammed a glass of whiskey down in front of him and tried to ease him into his new life in the only way Gene knew how to 'ease' any new recruit in - by giving him the bare minimum facts in the bluntest of ways. But even as he was gulping down his own drink, Gene found his heart was just not in it. The appearance of the newbie didn't give him the thrill that he usually had and the umph he needed to sort the lost soul out and ensure they were at rest. No, instead he felt a sinking in his stomach that this was it. This was the beginning of his new team. And the definitive end of his old one. But he didn't want a new team. He didn't want a new Ray or Chris. Not even a new Shaz. And he certainly didn't want a new Alex. There never could be another DI Bollinger Drake.

For three years Gene tried. He tracked down dealers and killers, rapists and traffickers. He looked them up and sent them down. Chased them until there was nowhere left for them to run or hide. And he tried to help Mason. But three years later and he still knew nothing about the man. He didn't interest him, he didn't like him and he didn't have the energy to help him. Three years after they had left, Gene still felt like half a man without the others and despite trying to slot them into the human shape holes his last team had left, his new team just didn't fit, until he eventually faced facts. They weren't coming back. Ever.

And so with the loss of his team, Gene Hunt became a lost man. A man who no longer had the energy to clear the streets of scum and ensure that the people around him were sorting out their own problems and working through their regrets because for once, Gene's regrets and problems were too big for him to push aside. In the past, he had had his team to take his mind off whatever it was that was playing on his mind - but it was the new team that was the problem. They could do nothing. And so he found himself half listening to case details, beer o clock became earlier and a solitary time of the day, he drove faster but not as far. In fact, Gene stopped going far at all. If there was a case that required a long drive, he'd pass it off to someone else until eventually, he went nowhere else but the office, his flat and Luigi's. The outside world stopped existing to him and it wasn't until he ran out of milk - of all things - one evening that he realised as he was walking, the pavement was forming beneath his feet. In front of him lay nothingness. The odd sparkle of a star, but other than that - nothing. With each step, pavement was put down and walls were built, forming around him as he thought of the street he used to walk down. Why was this happening ? Why was it not there before? People were being formed, stepping out of the darkness half complete, their features being filled in as Gene passed his eyes over them and completed them. And then it hit him.

They weren't there because he had abandoned them. He had lost interest in the world that he had perfectly made for himself and the others, but the others were no longer important to him and so he kept whatever it was he needed and the rest? Abandoned. Like a half finished painting.

As he walked further, he glanced behind him just in time to see darkness and stars replace the buildings and roads he had been walking down before. A heavy sigh left his lips as his feet stopped walking. What about the others working in his office? What about Mason? He had come to this world without consent and if he had been a couple of years earlier, hell even a couple weeks earlier, he would have been helped and he would have ended up happy. But now? He was in a world that was collapsing in on itself because its creator had run out of creativity and passion. He'd run out of any kind of motivation. He no longer had a reason to help because he had 'helped' Chris and Ray and Shaz and Alex. And look where that had got them. His help had kept Alex in false hope for three years and then she'd been told, oh wait. Sorry. You're actually dead and you're never gonna see your daughter again. Enjoy your drink, Love. What kind of a goodbye was that? The loss of Ray and Chris and Shaz was almost bearable. If he hadn't have lost Alex then maybe he would have been able to convince himself they were happy. Chris and Shaz had each other - he'd seen the ridiculously soppy looks they exchanged on a daily basis despite 'breaking up'. There was a future for them. And Ray. He'd been the best officer he could have ever been. No longer an abandoner. A jumper. He was a damn good copper and deserved the Railway Arms.

But Alex. She didn't. She deserved her daughter and her home and her _life. _She deserved so much more than to be ripped from everything she knew.

And Gene? What about him? Did he deserve to be alone now with every person in his universe relying on him? Did he? Maybe he did, but that's not what he _wanted_. He wanted... He wanted Alex. Bollykecks. He wanted her back. He'd lived without her before, but the minute those stocking clad legs had walked into his life, bringing the incredible woman with them, he had known that this one was different. This one was going to be trouble and wonder all rolled into one. And she had turned out to be everything he had expected and more. He hadn't accounted for her insane intelligence or ability to look straight through his steely persona, the way she dealt with the boys like she was indestructible yet spoke to victims with the softest and most understanding tone imaginable. He hadn't accounted for her undeniable charm and beauty, the fact she couldn't out drink him but regularly tried or the intoxicating giggle she had. He hadn't accounted for the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he would fall head over heels for her and never be able to tell her.

As he stood, shoulders slumped and with nothing but remorse and self-pity to keep him company, Gene noticed the pavement slipping away from him. The buildings were crumbling. Bricks were falling from them and vanishing before they hit the floor. The ground was cracking and breaking beneath him, great blocks of it falling away into darkness. The people passing him became more and more transparent with each step they took until there were no people. The cars drove past but never reached their destinations. There were no destinations to reach anymore. Without Drake in his life, Gene had no place to go, nothing to do. He'd tried to help them all. He'd tried to accept the new team and his new life, he really had, but what was the point in trying when you're heart is no longer in it?

When your heart is supposedly in the Railway Arms but is actually back in 2008?

Until there was nothing but Gene and the smallest amount of ground left under his feet, surrounded by blackness and twinkling stars.

And then there was just nothing.


	17. I Go Weak

**A/N This will probably be the penultimate chapter of this story, and I must say - I've absolutely loved writing it! **

**Sorry about the slow update with this. I was sat on a bus today and I had a little Alex stomping her feet in the back of my head and Gene glaring at me for leaving them hanging, so here we are! **

**Enjoy!**

**MBRB'xoxo**

Back in 2012 where Alex and Luigi where both staring at him, their eyes boring into Gene, he snapped back to reality. His face had gone a sickly, ashen colour as his last remaining months of the 80s came crashing back to him in a vile surge of memories.

'It all went wrong' he said simply, his tone a million miles away and his eyes fixing on Luigi. The little italian nodded sadly.

'Si, Signore.' He nodded with confirmation, although it wasn't really needed. Alex, confused and upset, looked between the two men in front of her questioningly, waiting for an explanation. Impatience got the best of her and in the end, she slammed her hand down on the wooden bar table and demanded to know what was going on. Gene looked at her with surprise at her sudden outburst, his expression still dazed and far away.

'Er...' He started uncertainly. 'I, erm. I remember after you left' he told her, staring pointedly down at the glass in his hand. He was aware of Alex's piercing stare unmoved from his face and it made him uneasy.

'What happened?' She asked softly.

'I... I remember tryin' to move on and get the new team sorted out. But the were shit, Bolls. Bloody useless. Nothing like the A team' he let out a short snort of laughter and Alex, too, smiled softly at the mention of the old team. 'And I didn't _wanna_ sort them out. New DI came stormin into my office with his flamin demands and orders and I just thought 'fuck this, Genie boy. Waste of time'' he looked sad as he spoke, and Alex felt her heart ache for him. She remembered that Gene lived for helping the lost souls that came into his kingdom and so she knew that for him to not have the energy to help them meant that he was completely deflated. It was a bad sign of things to come in his 80s world. Her hand reached out and lay gently on his arm in reassurance that she knew the devastation he must have felt in those days following her leaving.

'I, erm...' A deep breath 'I couldn't keep it all going. Didn't have the energy anymore' he sighed, his head drooping slightly at the memory. 'It all crashed down around me, Bolly. Walkin down a bloody street one night and the walls just came falling down. No more people. No more pavement. Just those pissin' stars and the night bloody sky.' Frustration was slipping into his words as he thought of his carefully constructed world falling through his fingers.

'And then...?' She prompted him gently.

'And then I was here' he replied bluntly. That was it. He was there and then he was here. Here with a head full of confusion and a frustrated young officer in his face. And then here with a woman who was so strangely familiar. And then here with the same women, no longer a stranger, and a little Italian man who knew far too much. 'What 'appens now, Luigi? This is? You gonna do a Nelson on us?' He asked. Luigi laughed a little and shook his head.

'No, Signore. No, no. I try and help you and Signora Drake. You two find each other and I help you stay together' he told them. Gene and Alex exchanged confused looks as they took in what Luigi was saying to them.

'What do you mean, Luigi?' Alex asked when it became clear he wasn't going to say any thing more.

'Signora Drake. You don't belong here' he told the woman in front of him. 'You belong with Signore Hunt in his world. You both belong in the 80s'


	18. Uptown Girl

**A/N So this is the final chapter, chickas! I'm working on a new fic which is either going to be a loooonngg one shot or a couple chapters, but I'm hoping to post that in the reasonably near future. **

**Thank you sososo much for all the support this story has had. I'd never written Ashes before and was a bit anxious about starting to write for such a fabulous fandom, but you've all been incredible! **

**One more plea for a moment of your time and a little review. Your thoughts on this story would mean so much to me! Especially as it's now finished! **

**Thank you all so much for reading and as I say ever chapter, enjoy. (But enjoy this one that little bit more ;) ) **

**MBRB'xoxo**

**X-x-x-x-x**

Gene and Alex exchanged glances and she couldn't help a beaming smile break across her face.

'Really?' She blurted, trying to process the fact that she could stay with Gene. Her eyes came to rest on Gene and there was a flutter of hope in the pit of her stomach that she hadn't felt in such a long time. Luigi had said they could stay together. They could be _together. _A few minutes ago, she had felt her life - if it could be called that - slipping through her fingers. She had seen that her daughter no longer relied on or needed her to look after her. Her godfather, who had cared for her as long as she could remember - even before her parents died - had seen her soul drift out from her body as she lay in a hospital bed. It had been all too much for her and she had been left with nothing. Absolutely nothing. But now? Now she had a man with whom she had such a strong connection, even the afterlife had not been able to part them. And she had the chance to be with him again in a place that she had been happy. Sure, the 80s had been bittersweet for her - She had enjoyed the time she had spent there and she couldn't deny that she had felt a certain aspect of home, but there had always been the thought in the back of her mind that she needed to get to her _real_ home and back to her daughter. And now? Now there was...closure? She knew that there was nothing more she could do to care for her baby. She was okay. Her life had worked itself out and she had a thriving social life and her schoolwork was consistently high. She guessed she had to let her go. Yes, it was far earlier than she had thought she would need to, but she _did_ need to let her go.

'Luigi... How?' She asked. Her voice had a slight tremor in it and a shock sparked down her spine as Gene reached over and closed his hand around hers, twisting their fingers and sending her a comforting smile.

'Well you're already here, Signorita. Not all things change' he told her with a smile that seemed to light up the entire room. A small frown line appeared between Gene's brows as he puzzled over Luigi's words.

'Come again?" He asked simply.

'Your world is what you make it, Mister Hunt. You live in a place you think was real and now that place isn't real to you. So you go to a place you feel real in. And you have the base for that place already, Signore' he opened his arms in a gesture at their surroundings. And he was right. Around them was the one constant in their 'world' as he put it - Luigi's little italian bar. The old expression floated through Alex's mind briefly - some things never change. And she was grateful for that. Clapping his hands together, Luigi suddenly stood up, pushing his chair back, and began to shuffle Alex and Gene out the door of his bar.

'Come, come. I need to open up. Business no run itself' he mumbled, back to the old Luigi again. The tormented and stressed little Italian who had time for everyone, yet no time for himself. His change of manner came with a wave of relief for Alex as Genes fingers remained wrapped around hers, holding her hand firmly to him. Wordlessly, they made their way over to the door, exchanging confused and apprehensive looks at what they were to find outside the door.

X-x-x-x-x-x

Even the air outside was different. Despite it all being London, the air in 2012 seemed fresher than it did in 1983 and yet, Alex found herself taking a deep breath as she walked out into the street. The cars lining the roads didn't have the curved and sleek appearance that they did in the 'future' and playing somewhere in the distance was the unmistakable electric beat of an 80s tune. Turning to Gene, Alex couldn't help but beam at him.

'We're home, Gene' she grinned, her voice turning into a delighted laugh and her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she tried to hold back an excited sob. Gene didn't say anything. Instead, he let go of her hand and placed it round her shoulders, pulling her to his side and holding her tight. He'd let her go once before and he sure as hell didn't want to do it again.

A radio crackled.

The couple frowned as they heard the familiar noise and Gene reached to his back pocket, pulling out a large police radio that was clipped there.

'...Needed as soon as possible, Guv, Boss...' Gene looked down at Alex, still flush against his side, and rolled his eyes.

'Can't have a moment of peace without the world falling apart' he winked. Alex laughed and tried to hold down the butterflies that were squirming in her stomach as she realised that she was really here; Gene by her side and the station calling them out. It was like the 'good old days'. It was a relief.

_X-x-x-x-x_

As the day finished, Gene and Alex meandered aimlessly through the streets noting all the little changes that had been made on their arrival. A couple of doors were cleaner, a few more bins had been added - they'd even noticed a new park. They were all only tiny changes that very few people would even notice, and would definitely not alter anything a great deal, but they were changes non-the-less. As Gene pointed out the majority of differences, Alex remained suspiciously quiet. The quiet from his side eventually drew his attention and he stopped walking, looking down at her with a questioning expression on his face.

'Bolls...' Her eyes remained on the floor. 'Oi, Bollinger knickers. What've you done?' He asked, an amused tone to his voice.

'Nothing...' She replied vaguely. The doubtful look on his face remained and he prodded her playfully.

'Tell me'

'I changed some things...' She told him quietly, not too sure if he'd be angry at her.

''Changed' things? This is all you?' He tried to clarify. Alex finally met his eyes and nodded coyly. The response she got was not what she had expected - he burst out laughing.

'Bloody hell, Bolls. What have I got myself into?' He asked, pulling her to his side once more and continuing walking down the road that his little flat stood on.

Except...

'What the hell have you done?' A small splutter of laughter escaped Alex that she tried to muffle with her hand but failed miserably.

'This is my world as well now, Gene' she pointed out, turning him to her and placing a hand on his chest. Her fingers played with the material of his shirt and she looked up at him through her lashes, a flirty glint in her eyes.

'So you just 'deleted' my home?' He asked flatly. Alex let out another bark of laughter at his appalled expression and nodded happily.

'Well I thought it might be cosier at my place...' She trailed off, pulling her lips in and trying to sound innocent. Gene stayed staring down at her in silence for a moment before shaking his head in disbelief.

'A woman has come into _my _kingdom and deleted my house? A bloody woman?' Her nod in reply seemed anything but sorry, which caused Gene to laugh despite himself and shake his head again. 'What am I gonna do with you, 'ey?' In reply, Alex just leant forward and planted a soft kiss on Genes lips which he returned with tender enthusiasm.

When they parted, Gene stared down at her in silence for a moment. This wonderful, crazy woman had _literally_ changed his world. And yet, he really didn't mind. With her, he was a stronger person. She had taught him more than he cared to admit and he knew there was still so much she had to offer him, and he her. His world was a better place with her, in every way possible.

'Come on, Bolly. Let's fire up the Quattro'

Alex giggled. 'Gene, the Quattro was destroyed. Annihilated. It is no more' she reminded him bluntly. Gene shook his head and nodded behind her to the other side of the road where there was, indeed, the Quattro. It's owner beamed down at her with pride in his eyes.

'It's my world, Bolls. I want my Quattro - I get my Quattro' he winked. Alex laughed lightly at him and sighed with exasperation. It was going to be a strange life - afterlife? - with Gene, but it would never be boring, that was for sure.

'Come on Bollykecks. Your carriage awaits' and, taking her hand, he lead her over to the Quattro and opened the door for her, smiling as she slipped into the passenger seat. His smile remained on his lips as he walked to the drivers seat and started the car, sending it flying round a corner in a flurry of dust and echoes of laughter.

If you were to be standing on that particular street at that particular time - no matter how you got there - you would have been witness to a red car flying past with the loud beat of 'Uptown Girl' beginning to play. And if you were to listen very carefully, you may have heard a delighted giggle before an amused scolding and a rougher, deeper voice begin to sing along enthusiastically about how he had fallen in love with, and captured, his Uptown Girl. His Bolly.

_Fin_


End file.
